We Never Discussed Sexual Preference... ADVICE NEEDED

This is the place to discuss and get advice about things like coming out and relationships. Everyone is expected to be courteous here.

We Never Discussed Sexual Preference... ADVICE NEEDED

Unread postby Wayde » 18th June, 2018, 9:41 am

Okay, so I've been seeing this guy for about a month. We were attracted to each other because of personality and interests, and thats why we started talking and getting close. We talk a surprisingly large amount about cuddling and such, but I made him aware early on that I am a virgin (shocker), and that I want to take the intimacy stuff slower. He was completely fine with it, said that we could take it as slow as I wanted, and that was that. The problem is, I am just now realizing that we never discussed our preferences in terms of sexual position. I really like this guy, and the only reason that I haven't had sex is because I wanted to wait for someone who I was actually in love with. Well, this guy and I are getting real close, and to be honest I wouldn't be surprised if he was the one to swipe my v-card in the coming months. But I am getting increasingly worried that we won't be a perfect match when it comes to a top and a bottom. For the most part, he has come off a bit dominant, which would be my preference. I fancy myself a bottom (I am not opposed to switching things up, but I think I would prefer to bottom). But, yesterday, we were kind of joking around, and he said that, because he likes to be in control of stuff in every other area of his life, he actually likes his partner to take control in the bedroom. That might be a problem. I like being submissive, and I think it's really hot when a guy takes control. I guess we could always switch things up with each other in terms of roles, and I am open to that, but now I am becoming increasingly worried that he's a secret power bottom or something. I wouldn't mind if he was vers, because then we could trade off depending on the mood, but I don't think that I could be with someone who would only ever want to bottom. But I really like this guy, and I don't want what we have to be ruined by my fears about our potential incompatibility. Should I ask if he has a strict preference? And, if he says that he is only ever going to be interested in bottoming, is that something to end a really promising relationship over? I keep trying to find a way to work it into a conversation we're already having, but I worry that the question will be off-putting since our relationship has mostly focused on non-intimate matters. People with experience in serious relationships, please help!
Image
User avatar
Wayde
A Witty User Titleā„¢
 
First name: Wayde
Posts: 150
Likes received: 31
Joined: 28th August, 2017, 4:21 pm
Country: United States (us)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: We Never Discussed Sexual Preference... ADVICE NEEDED

Unread postby Zephyrus » 18th June, 2018, 11:44 am

While I don't have any experience in relationships like these, I doubt that, if this complication arises, it will end your relationship, and I'm sure there are lots of ways that two bottoms can still be together. I think really this is something you should talk to him about because you could be panicking about nothing. :keke:
Image
Image Image
User avatar
Zephyrus
Formerly "BucketTech"
 
First name: Tyler
Posts: 579
Likes received: 104
Joined: 21st August, 2016, 7:35 pm
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
3 / 7

Team: Nerd Herd

2 points have been awarded for this post.

Re: We Never Discussed Sexual Preference... ADVICE NEEDED

Unread postby Lochlan » 18th June, 2018, 12:30 pm

There's no reason why a preference like top/bottom should split up a relationship. There will always be room to find something that both parties enjoy, even if that requires getting toys. If the emotional part of a good relationship is there, the physical side should follow!
User avatar
Lochlan
BOT Hunter
 
First name: Lochlan
Posts: 1346
Likes received: 294
Joined: 16th March, 2015, 12:43 pm
Location: Merseyside
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
3 / 7

Team: Nerd Herd

Re: We Never Discussed Sexual Preference... ADVICE NEEDED

Unread postby Dolly » 18th June, 2018, 2:27 pm

I don't think it'd be that big of a deal tbh. I don't think most people are exclusive, strict tops or bottoms, so you two will probably be able to make it work.
Image
User avatar
Dolly
hotty & country singer
 
Posts: 3731
Likes received: 855
Joined: 19th July, 2015, 11:50 pm
Location: Tennesee
Country: United States (us)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
1 / 7

Re: We Never Discussed Sexual Preference... ADVICE NEEDED

Unread postby Woollyhoolly » 18th June, 2018, 2:29 pm

Lochlan wrote:There's no reason why a preference like top/bottom should split up a relationship. There will always be room to find something that both parties enjoy, even if that requires getting toys. If the emotional part of a good relationship is there, the physical side should follow!


of all gtf'ers, lochlan would know :P
Made you look

Trudeau's my daddy
User avatar
Woollyhoolly
Classy
 
First name: Tim
Posts: 709
Likes received: 160
Joined: 4th September, 2017, 4:05 pm
Location: Amsterdam
Country: Netherlands (nl)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
2 / 7

Re: We Never Discussed Sexual Preference... ADVICE NEEDED

Unread postby Lochlan » 18th June, 2018, 5:04 pm

Woollyhoolly wrote:
Lochlan wrote:There's no reason why a preference like top/bottom should split up a relationship. There will always be room to find something that both parties enjoy, even if that requires getting toys. If the emotional part of a good relationship is there, the physical side should follow!


of all gtf'ers, lochlan would know :P

Image
User avatar
Lochlan
BOT Hunter
 
First name: Lochlan
Posts: 1346
Likes received: 294
Joined: 16th March, 2015, 12:43 pm
Location: Merseyside
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
3 / 7

Team: Nerd Herd


Recently active
Users browsing this forum: KafkaTamura, Olivurh and 62 guests