Should I pursue him if he’s in a relationship?

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Should I pursue him if he’s in a relationship?

Unread postby BlueBear4044 » 18th October, 2018, 11:06 pm

Hey guys its been a little bit since I’ve been on here, I guess I just need advice and to vent or whatever. So the situation is that over this 1st Semester my Junior year I met this really cute guy in the my math class. It was weird because I had heard people talking about him and I had no idea who he was and so I followed him on instagram. Well he followed me back while I was in math class and I literally in the class was like oh somebody followed me on instagram and he was like oh yeah that was me and I was like oh kind of embarrassed because I didn’t know that was him. So he’s a sophomore and he’s on the football. I feel like I’m 85% sure he has a crush on me, but the catch is this. In class I would always see him talking to this girl, In my head I was like oh they must be friends or whatever. Anyways so homecoming was last weekend and you know they started playing the slow music and all the singles left and the couples started slow dancing. Well he and her start dancing. This was so weird fore me. I had never felt anything like that. I think this my first true look at what jealousy felt like. And I didn’t particularly feel jealous of her but I just hated them being together and dancing. Idk I can’t really explain. For some reason even after that I never assumed that they were dating until his girlfriend followed me on instagram and she and him was her profile picture. This sent me over the edge I feel jealous but also conflicted because I cant justify pursuing someone in a relationship but at the same time I’m pretty sure he’s gay and not bi so him being in relationship with her is wrong on his part. Idk I just feel conflicted and upset at the whole situation. I cant be mad at anybody its just this situation sucks and idk how to move forward. Please help. :fml:
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Re: Should I pursue him if he’s in a relationship?

Unread postby Russell » 4th November, 2018, 9:46 pm

I feel like you're jumping to a lot of conclusions. Do you even have any confirmation that they are dating - not that that means much? Is there anything beyond him following you on Instagram which makes you confident that he has a crush on you?

Long story short, I think that you're jumping the gun here a bit. If this is the first time you're meeting him, it's a little early for feelings to be involved. Your first course of action should be to get to know him a bit and then take it from there. You've said he's followed you on insta, so shoot him a message sometime, get to know him a bit then maybe even hang out together.

At least that way, you can get a bit of a better picture of the scenario, and if nothing comes of it, then you might make a new friend in the least.

The feelings of jealousy aren't unusual, but so long as you don't let them consume you or cloud your better judgement, then I wouldn't concern myself with it too much. These feelings pass with time and change of circumstances, so just keep looking towards the future.
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