Orientation Frustration

Discuss sexuality, whether your own or someone else's.

Orientation Frustration

Unread postby Fadi » 30th December, 2017, 11:37 am

At the early stages of questioning I labelled myself Gay but then realized I was bisexual hence the fact I fell in love with a few girls romantically in middle and high school.

The problem is I only feel romantic attraction to girls but no sexual attraction yet I can feel both romantic and sexual attractions to guys.
Girls extremely rarely get me hard yet I can romantically love them?

I'm not sure anymore if it's still bisexuality or something else, can someone help me clarify this please?
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Re: Orientation Frustration

Unread postby Rwinter96 » 30th December, 2017, 11:41 am

You can be attracted to different genders in different ways. So whilst you might be be biromantic, you may only be homosexual. They are separate entities, although rushing to label everything probably isn't what's best. Take your time and just let yourself work it out
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Re: Orientation Frustration

Unread postby Woollyhoolly » 30th December, 2017, 11:45 am

Fadi,

Honestly, I wouldn't try to label yourself too much. To me, it sounds like you're somewhere in between gay and bisexual. However, since you don't really want to bone girls, i'd just go with gay. Maybe you are confusing the romantical attraction to girls with just liking them alot, in a friendly way.

Do know that I'm not the expert on this. I'd call you gay, but in the end you should just go with what you feel like.
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Re: Orientation Frustration

Unread postby Rwinter96 » 30th December, 2017, 11:50 am

Woollyhoolly wrote:in the end you should just go with what you feel like.


Agreed on this point, I'd call myself gay even though I have a few other labels that I could use but it's easier to just say I'm gay
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Re: Orientation Frustration

Unread postby Fadi » 30th December, 2017, 11:53 am

Woollyhoolly wrote:Fadi,

Honestly, I wouldn't try to label yourself too much. To me, it sounds like you're somewhere in between gay and bisexual. However, since you don't really want to bone girls, i'd just go with gay. Maybe you are confusing the romantical attraction to girls with just liking them alot, in a friendly way.

Do know that I'm not the expert on this. I'd call you gay, but in the end you should just go with what you feel like.


It's definitely romantic attraction to girls and not just liking them a lot I can assure that!
But yeah I can say somewhere in between bisexual and homosexual.
And you're right I shouldn't label myself too much but I really find comfort in labeling myself an identity than not having one honestly, it makes me feel less lost.

Rwinter96 wrote:You can be attracted to different genders in different ways. So whilst you might be be biromantic, you may only be homosexual. They are separate entities, although rushing to label everything probably isn't what's best. Take your time and just let yourself work it out


Yeah I guess differently attracted to different genders and I have thought about the difference between biromantic and homosexual/bisexual but I kinda needed it clear I guess.


I'm mostly guessing it's in between homosexual and bisexual and it has something to do with biromantic but I'm still kinda trying to figure that out I guess.
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Re: Orientation Frustration

Unread postby Panthony2100 » 31st December, 2017, 2:39 am

Rwinter96 wrote:You can be attracted to different genders in different ways. So whilst you might be be biromantic, you may only be homosexual. They are separate entities, although rushing to label everything probably isn't what's best. Take your time and just let yourself work it out


Couldn’t have said it better myself. In all reality it’s perfectly fine to not know or not put a label on it. Just take things one step at a time.
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Re: Orientation Frustration

Unread postby Felicia » 31st December, 2017, 11:42 am

Hey Fady. While everyone goes through this, I believe there's no reason for you to stress about this issue. And please, do not say that your sexuality is your identity. We are not our sexual preferences. You are not you because you like dick or cunt

I've always been a fan of letting things flow with the river. What is the hurry? What happens if today you bone a guy and tomorrow you bone a girl? you might not necessarily be bisexual. Everyday, straight guys claim to only like women, yet when you get them drunk they won't have a problem penetrating a guy (but not kissing him).

There are more important things to worry about. If you enjoy being a part of GTFO, then, by all means, stay. We don't bite :keke:
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Re: Orientation Frustration

Unread postby Dolly » 31st December, 2017, 4:23 pm

It sounds like you're bi. It's easier to feel romantic attraction than a sexual one, so who knows? Your mind could change a month from now, so you should avoid publicly using labels, though.
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Re: Orientation Frustration

Unread postby WinterIsHere » 30th January, 2018, 8:18 pm

I understand the confusion over sexual, romantic attraction. Labels like these, paired with more recent research in gender, performance, identity etc., only scratch the surface of how complicated sexuality actually is.

It is true that we live in a heteronormative world. As bad as it sounds, heterosexual pairings are the gold standard in society. Sadly, society is only slowly adapting to a newer openness to non-traditional relationships. Look at movies, most parade Hollywood-style couples and only recently, same sex attraction has been reflected in mainstream media more prominently.

Personally, I found myself attracted to classic movies because of the (mostly) great quality and their status in culture and society.
I saw myself in those movies even though I didn't understand what the big deal is about sex.


When it dawned on me that liking girls is not really for me, I was terrified. Only recently have I come to accept this part of me.
I adored those old movies and I desperately wanted to be like those couples. I tried so hard to like girls and went on a few dates but it never worked out.

I think, often our desires to be part of the gold standard overshadows what is more natural for us as individuals. Back in the sixties, people smoked because it was in the movies. I wanted to fall in love with a girl for that reason. It was my biggest wish to find a princess and be her hero and I almost convinced myself it I could like a girl romantically. However, whenever a girl responded, I realized the physical part would never work. Believe me, it was terrifying, scary and I hated myself for it. But worse, I wasn't being honest with the girls I tried to like and I think some were really hurt because I never told them the true reason.

I don't know how romantic and sexual attraction intercept but it is important to remember that those concepts are fuzzy and fluent.

Hope all works out for you. All the best!
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Re: Orientation Frustration

Unread postby Calcifer » 30th January, 2018, 8:55 pm

Lightboy wrote:But yeah I can say somewhere in between bisexual and homosexual.
And you're right I shouldn't label myself too much but I really find comfort in labeling myself an identity than not having one honestly, it makes me feel less lost.


Heya Fadi, I know where you're coming from. Going from thinking you're straight to bi to gay to whatever you might call but a label is just that - Something you call yourself. Maybe your situation is Homosexual biromantic, maybe it's bi, maybe it's just good old queer, it's your life. Any one of the terms can cover you quite nicely, it's just up to you to choose which one you feel comfortable with. Hell, you can change what you call yourself day to day. For myself, I just choose to stick with gay despite it not strictly covering my range of interest.

I hope you don't feel lost. No matter how you feel, your sexuality, or what you might call yourself, you're still part of this community. You have us, for as long as you stay.
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Re: Orientation Frustration

Unread postby Rwinter96 » 30th January, 2018, 10:43 pm

Calcifer wrote:I just choose to stick with gay despite it not strictly covering my range of interest.


I can relate to this, and it's important to both find labels you can identify with but also not let them consume you and how you interact with the world
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Re: Orientation Frustration

Unread postby JonathanT88 » 31st January, 2018, 9:13 am

Labels are useful only as a way of explaining your sexuality to others, which you don't really need to do at this stage. Sexual attraction evidently doesn't work in easily-definable binary ways, so you needn't come up with an easily-defined explanation apart from for the convenience of those around you.

If an opportunity presents itself for you to have a romantic (/sexual) relationship with a girl, then take it if that's what you want to do. Otherwise, don't. The same applies to any potential relations with men.
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Re: Orientation Frustration

Unread postby swedeam » 31st January, 2018, 9:22 am

personally i would say that you bay be bi but what do i know?

(also not taking the mick out of anyone here but i feel that the title to this thread should be a song by the clash...)
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