So.. I'm forcing myself to come out to my brother by the end of the month because I hate being all secretive, and it's better he'd hear it from me than someone else. Another reason is that people I know/ My parents take him a lot more seriously, and if I got him to be accepting, It'd be a lot simpler to come out to others. Again, we're really close and I'd like to be open with him about just about everything, but I really am scared I won't find the guts to tell him.

Update:

Also in a post down there.

Setting a deadline is stupid, you should do it when the time right and not force yourself to.

Totally agree. Don't force it but best of luck to you anyways

It's not based on nothing, I felt like the best time to tell him would have been today, TBH, but he had to leave for work. It's just that I don't want to pussy out, *and I very well may, and almost did on 2 other occasions when I came out before to other people*.

Hey, you know yourself best. If you know that this is the only way you're going to get it done, then a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do! But an arbitrary deadline like this isn't really the best thing regardless. If you're in the business of fucking yourself over to make sure you get this done, you should do something that you can't back out of, like set up a website to automatically send him a text message saying "HEY THIS IS <Your Name Here>, I'M GAY!" in a month's time. Actually that's pretty stupid, but you get my point, right? Right.

I suppose setting a deadline is one way of trying to coax yourself into doing it. Just don't do it for the wrong reasons or if you feel wholly uncomfortable.

From what I can tell, you're doing it for the right reasons - you want to be honest, you want him to hear it in person, and you feel you're close enough to him that having him knowing, and on your side, would mean a lot to you. Are there any specific reasons behind you feeling too scared? If he's like you say he is, there shouldn't be a problem, and I'm sure he'd understand.

Don't set yourself a deadline, but try this. Wait for a week or so, and then come home one day after your favourite day at school - you know, good lessons, nice classmates, that kind of thing - in a good mood. Make sure you're feeling pretty good about yourself, and then just ask him for a quiet word when he gets home, and tell him. You don't need to string it out, or make it emotional (unless you want to!), and I'm sure he'll take it really well.

Best of luck to you, and let us know how it goes!

Oh, due to my father being a Jamaican Pastor, my entire family is *pretty much* incredibly homophobic. well, they act polite with gays from afar, or during brief encounters, but still, quite hateful. I'm hoping I can theologize the fuck out of him and get him to see things my way, but it's a huge task.

Hmmm....I set myself a tight goal last year that I would come out to everyone on Feb 1st this year.

I had already come out to a few, that was al-right, but i then forgot completely of the date I had set, yet it was still a personal goal of mine.

I ran down to a friends when I was going through a really rough patch last month, and upon for the first time in my like disgusting my sexuality with him (this guy is pretty much my brother) I felt the confidence in what I was doing, and went home in mind set that I was going to come out, it was building up, the urge over days, and when it came to the day I thought, I'm going to do this, it was ironically the day that I had set to come out anyway, which made me feel rushed to do it, and I couldn't. I spent 5-6 hours on edge to tell my mother as I sat with her all afternoon, bags packed upstairs ready to go in case anything went down, and I couldn't do it.

I set myself a time-goal for something I wanted so bad, yet I was not really ready for it, and the worst feeling is guilt and pain, that you have not been able to accomplish a a goal.

It was foolish of me to do such a thing, I was so terrible for days after, shaking at random occasions, so depressed, and it didn't do me any good, I have learnt my lesson from that experience, that I cannot rush things and get in over myself, I must wait for the right time to come, and that's what I think you should do

If you want to do something, don't set a goal, either do it right then without thinking, or allow the time itself to come.

Hope this is of some help

Thanks for that, but as Rossay and Xade safely assumed, I'm just trying to coax myself into it, worked last time I had to do this too.

You're forcing yourself to set a deadline. Kudos to you, love hearing you're brave enough to do such a thing.

I did that. It worked mostly.

I hope it'll be smooth. I've spent justabout all of today stressing the fuck out, thinking about different ways it could go down, luckily he's not home most of the week. I'm really worried, I mean, I've been nervous coming out before, but never this much.

So... I came out to him today, too tired to type up the long version, but in short. We're still cool for the most part, he's agreed to keep it between us, despite that he says he thinks it's wrong, and he said he would try to be open, given I gave him reasonable explanations regarding certain things. Time to put my theology cap on. yay.

And yes, it was horribly awkward.

Congrats Horrible awkwardness was to be expected, but as long as he's still cool with you, that's great!

thanks I'm still worried on his ultimate opinion but I'm really glad he reacted the way he did.

I'll try. he's mentioned knowing a few other gays that I also know *but didn't state their names of course, so there's some mysteryfags in my community* and he seems to be fine with them too.

Congrats! Hopefully you'll brother will learn to throw out his previous stereotypes and judgements against gays. That way he can help prove to your parents that your not a living sin haha