Flirt with a guy when neither of us are 'out'

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Flirt with a guy when neither of us are 'out'

Unread postby Bc101 » 25th June, 2017, 7:03 pm

There is this boy in my year at school that I quite like but I don't know if he likes me.

Neither of us are out as gay openly (that I know of) I'm not out to anybody either. But I think most people think that he's gay because he is quite stereotypically gay, i.e. In the school show, hangs around with girls all the time, the way he talks, that sort of stuff. I know it's wrong to assume but I think these are good signs.

I have never really talked to him before except for a few short chats where I was helping with backstage crew for the school show (that he was in) . But I really want to talk to him. It would feel weird though for me just to message him on snapchat or something like that out of the blue and I'm sure it would be weird for him too.

Does anybody have any advice because I don't even know if he gay or not and I don't think he would tell me if he was.

Sorry if this was too long!
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Re: Flirt with a guy when neither of us are 'out'

Unread postby MCarr812 » 25th June, 2017, 7:57 pm

The perfect situation is difficult to get, so if you really want to talk to him you'll have to do something, even if it is a bit awkward. If you have a friend that is a bit closer to him you could ask him for his help. You want to talk to someone who's going through the same things you are and I think everyone here gets that. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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Re: Flirt with a guy when neither of us are 'out'

Unread postby Pity » 25th June, 2017, 8:03 pm

As weird as it is to stereotype, it sounds like he could be gay, but you never know for sure. If you feel uncomfortable randomly messaging him on Snapchat, you should try to start some small talk. If he posts something interesting, reply to it about how you are into it, want to know what song is in his post, or what similar things he recommends; the possibilities are pretty much endless. I think you may have to come out of the closet beforehand, though, so maybe start off by telling your friends or even one of his friends to see if you can get the ball rolling. I hope it all goes well! :)
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Re: Flirt with a guy when neither of us are 'out'

Unread postby boiii » 26th June, 2017, 2:44 am

Here comes mr. casanova :cool: for some advice. (the disclaimer in my signature is valid for that thing I just said :P )

The best thing to do is to find things that you guys have in common. It's a good way to start a conversation.
For example: You both (even sorta) participated in the school show. If it is on DVD you could ask to borrow it sometime.
If you have similar hobbies you could chat about that too.

Then another thing you is to keep the conversation going.
Ask him how his exams went (if you just had those that is).
You could also ask him about a hobby you don't have in common.
Where to is he going on vacation? If it is a cool place you can ask him about that country before and/or after the trip.
Hell, if the conversation is going you can even just talk about teachers or a cool game you like or one that is on sale on steam.
If it is on snapchat ask him to streak. (not run around naked, but streaking on snap I mean. :D)

During this conversation you can maybe pick up on signs if he is gay or even into you.
At first that might not be the case though, but you could at least get a better bond with him and maybe then something will develop.

Remember that you shouldn't rush anything :P.


Hey ma, I wish you the best of luck! :thumbsup:
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Re: Flirt with a guy when neither of us are 'out'

Unread postby Bc101 » 26th June, 2017, 2:56 am

Wow guys thanks for all your advice I'll try the stuff you've said and keep you posted in a bit.

Thanks!
My advice may look good but do not follow it. Looks can be deceiving. Just like an orange: it might look nice but when you eat it it's sour af and you'll never eat another orange again. Of course I am speaking metaphorically and this has never happened to me in my life ......

This has went too far....Oh well...
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Re: Flirt with a guy when neither of us are 'out'

Unread postby Bc101 » 26th June, 2017, 5:12 pm

Ok so now I think that he thinks I'm weird. I have sent him a couple of messages and we have a streak on snapchat and stuff. Like he put an angry face on his streaks and I asked him if he was ok but he just said 'it's fine' :( . I think that he thinks that I'm one of the "popular kids" when I'm really not and he isn't either. (If you understood that :D )

This might sound like weird but is there a way that I could come across as interested in texts to maybe show him that I'm not just talking to him 'for a joke' with my friends and I actually want to talk to him?

I know this sounds weird but hopefully it made sense! :dunno:
My advice may look good but do not follow it. Looks can be deceiving. Just like an orange: it might look nice but when you eat it it's sour af and you'll never eat another orange again. Of course I am speaking metaphorically and this has never happened to me in my life ......

This has went too far....Oh well...
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Re: Flirt with a guy when neither of us are 'out'

Unread postby Littlenorthernboy » 26th June, 2017, 8:32 pm

Maybe he was angry coz he wanted your attention :D

And trying to fake interest ain't gonna work. You can try to actually be interested in whatever you are talking about, but you shouldn't actively try to seem more interested than you are. Just be yourself.

And if you wanna come across as serious instead of just wanting to joke with him: if you have only been not so serious yet with him while talking, simply start speaking something serious. Ask him questions and bring up topics that you think he would like to discuss about, and if he jokes said that you were serious about it (and repeat u were serious if he keeps on joking ofc) etc.
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Re: Flirt with a guy when neither of us are 'out'

Unread postby Bc101 » 27th June, 2017, 5:24 pm

Now I'm really nervous. He just straight up asked if I was gay/bi. Now I just said yes. Jesus that was difficult :confused:

UPDATE:

He says he's bi now and I'm f*cking shaking like a leaf. Oh God
My advice may look good but do not follow it. Looks can be deceiving. Just like an orange: it might look nice but when you eat it it's sour af and you'll never eat another orange again. Of course I am speaking metaphorically and this has never happened to me in my life ......

This has went too far....Oh well...
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Re: Flirt with a guy when neither of us are 'out'

Unread postby boiii » 28th June, 2017, 2:56 am

Keep going man :D
You're doing great so far. Keep calm and think about the tips.
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Re: Flirt with a guy when neither of us are 'out'

Unread postby Bc101 » 28th June, 2017, 4:09 am

Well.. last night was eventful. After my last post we started talking and somehow we went from talking about a school trip to him sending me a dick pic. :D tbh I was kinda confused on how to respond and I think my exact words were "wow" :lol:

I think it's all good now guys thanks for your advice. (Mr. Casanova ;) )

Wish me luck!

PS, I'm still shaking ffs :lol:
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Re: Flirt with a guy when neither of us are 'out'

Unread postby Kaspar » 28th June, 2017, 5:01 am

Wow, Kamiel's love has advice actually worked :rofl2:

Anyway, I'm proud of you so far my friend :heart: The situation now is a lot clearer, so I think just going with it and maybe asking if he likes you when the time is right it the thing to do! Wish you best luck :)

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Re: Flirt with a guy when neither of us are 'out'

Unread postby boiii » 28th June, 2017, 6:04 am

Tbf, it only worked cause he liked you back Bc101. :D
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Re: Flirt with a guy when neither of us are 'out'

Unread postby Ethán » 28th June, 2017, 6:46 am

I think you're ready for this piece of ancient GTF wisdom since he's already sending dick pics, SHDSWH ;)
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Re: Flirt with a guy when neither of us are 'out'

Unread postby Kaspar » 28th June, 2017, 6:55 am

boiii wrote:Tbf, it only worked cause he liked you back Bc101. :D

True, but I mean like like.
Not always
Sending nudes =/= liking someone

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Re: Flirt with a guy when neither of us are 'out'

Unread postby Bc101 » 28th June, 2017, 3:42 pm

It's all going great guys thanks for your love life tips :lol: And I'm almost certain that he likes me, he wants to have a sleepover during the summer ;)

Thanks!
My advice may look good but do not follow it. Looks can be deceiving. Just like an orange: it might look nice but when you eat it it's sour af and you'll never eat another orange again. Of course I am speaking metaphorically and this has never happened to me in my life ......

This has went too far....Oh well...
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