Am I gay?

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Am I gay?

Unread postby searching2002 » 23rd June, 2017, 1:41 am

I think im attracted to men but i can never get an erection from a man
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Re: Am I gay?

Unread postby boiii » 23rd June, 2017, 1:58 am

hey man, what makes you think that you are attracted to men?
If you are born in 2002 than maybe you're not yet far enough into puberty for everything to be okay (I know I wasn't). It's gonna be okay I'm sure.
(btw, there is no need to worry if you were worried or something :))
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Re: Am I gay?

Unread postby Ethán » 23rd June, 2017, 2:25 am

I don't think not getting an erection is a valid scale of whether you're gay or not =P There could be a number of medical reasons as to why that doesn't happen for you or perhaps you're a person who only gets sexually attracted to someone after romantic interest. There's quite a few options so it would be nice if you gave us a bit more information. Are you attracted to woman at all? have you ever been sexually aroused by either gender before? do you have a physical attraction to men or just romantic?
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Re: Am I gay?

Unread postby MCarr812 » 23rd June, 2017, 5:44 am

It's really hard giving you advice with this little information. But when you say "I can never get an erection from a man" do you mean you can get them from a woman?
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Re: Am I gay?

Unread postby searching2002 » 23rd June, 2017, 7:40 am

Yes, I have always gotten an erection from women my whole life. Even in my 3rd grade class, I remember sitting right where i could see my teachers breasts. I used to be really into WWE and my favorite matches were the Diva ones, I had 2 favorite male wrestlers but i only felt admiration towards them, they were like role models.. Just recently i was unable to get an erection from women so i got stressed and start questioning my sexuality... I know the biggest fear for people who are gay (don't take offense to that word, please) is if people will accept them... i asked my ma if she would and she told me yes... i calmed down for a bit but these thoughts still popped into my head... I used to ve able to be around guys and now my heart just wants to jump out my body. i feel like crying at times because i feel if i am gay... my whole life's been a lie.. please help me
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Re: Am I gay?

Unread postby searching2002 » 23rd June, 2017, 7:44 am

I've been unable to sleep properly at night due to the amount of stress that's been weighing on me... Ive tried watching gay porn, reading gay erotica, looking at naked men... my heart starts pounding which makes me question if that's what sexual attraction... I only get these tingly feelings, no erection...
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Re: Am I gay?

Unread postby Rwinter96 » 23rd June, 2017, 7:51 am

I wonder if you may be romantically attracted to men, but not sexually attracted to them? That is a very real possibility
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Re: Am I gay?

Unread postby searching2002 » 23rd June, 2017, 8:07 am

I feel more romantically attracted to women though, you know? Shoot, im a big ass romantic.. I wrote a poem for this one girl last year.. it didn't go to well seeing as though she left me.. but i dont know man.
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Re: Am I gay?

Unread postby boiii » 23rd June, 2017, 8:11 am

It's hard for some people man. That is what is great about this place. We're here for eachother.
If you are gay, you'll know for sure soon enough :).
If you're bi, which is a possible too, would explain much.

Keep us updated and tell us if you're worried about something in the futere (or now) :)
There are moderators here, community ammbassadors, but I'm sure there isn't one person active on the forum that wouldn't wanna help you out.


I have 3 things I wanna tell you.

Calm down. I also have some issues with myself and other people about my sexuality, but here I found someone to talk to and I now realize that most of these things I worry about are troubles for later.

Wait. I'm sure you'll be more sure about your feelings in the near future (maybe some months, but idk). Remember that whatever it is, it is okay :).

Keep us updated. It is already very good that you reached out to people. Some people don't and go through a difficult phase. Know that we care and that we are here to help. :D
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Re: Am I gay?

Unread postby searching2002 » 23rd June, 2017, 8:13 am

It's just hard for me.. I've always desired women and just one day my mind started wondering and now i'm really confused... Someone just tell me this straight up. If i get erections from women but never men, If around women my whole body feels warm and around men my heart pounds... am I gay?
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Re: Am I gay?

Unread postby boiii » 23rd June, 2017, 8:18 am

I had a lot of relationships with girls in primary school. Trust me, those things don't mean a thing. I had crushes on girls till I was 14, when I was 15 I knew I was gay. Everyone is different though. Even though I could ejaculate while watching lesbian porn, I am still gay. sexually a lot of things shifted really. changed sides completely.
Things will become more clear in the future. Nobody discovers their true sexuality overnight, for some it is just a phase and turn out to be straight.
you can always pm anyone if you want, it's the text bubble at the avatar. People with colored names are moderator or CA's, but everyone is helpful here. However nobody is an expert here. Still best to talk to people.
Last edited by boiii on 23rd June, 2017, 8:27 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Am I gay?

Unread postby searching2002 » 23rd June, 2017, 8:22 am

boiii wrote:I had a lot of relationships with girls in primary school. Trust me, those things don't mean a thing. I had crushes on girls till I was 14, when I was 15 I knew I was gay. Everyone is different though. Even though I could ejaculate while watching lesbian porn, I am still gay. sexually a lot of things shifted really. changed sides completely.
Things will become more clear in the future. Nobody discovers their true sexuality overnight, for some it is just a phase and turn out to be straight.

I understand that but were you ever able to get an erection from women when you had these crushes?
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Re: Am I gay?

Unread postby boiii » 23rd June, 2017, 8:24 am

oh yea, loads of the time. I did get erection pretty fast however, still infact. Just from little innocent thoughts even.
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Re: Am I gay?

Unread postby byter11 » 23rd June, 2017, 11:53 am

A teenage boy breathes and he gets an erection. It's part of the changes you go through.

OP, if you feel comfortable being with women, and you feel attracted to them, then that's one thing you can know for sure. It also means you don't have to worry about trying to 'hide' your attraction for men (if you find that to be the case) because you aren't going to stand out if that's your worry.

As for how you feel about guys, you're young and it's not something you need to stress about. You have plenty of time to sit and think about what it is you find attractive, and whether you just find men's bodies attractive, being in a relationship with a man, or none of the above.

As boiii mentioned, we're here if you need to talk more!
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Re: Am I gay?

Unread postby Pity » 23rd June, 2017, 1:21 pm

Reading your first post and your replies, I honestly don't think that you are gay. If you said you don't feel nearly any romantic or sexual feelings for guys, then you're probably just confused and experimenting. If you are 15, which your username appears to show, I really think you would know if you had feelings for men by now. Just because you can't get an erection by looking at women doesn't mean that you are gay. Heck, you could be asexual and just not have any sexual feelings for anyone. It's not good to stress and assume you are gay because you are a bit confused, so just go with the flow and don't force yourself to do anything. I hope everything goes well and feel free to message us if you need any further help :)
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Re: Am I gay?

Unread postby Bob1029 » 24th June, 2017, 7:51 pm

Ok, so tbh, I am more romantic attracted to men than sexually (at the moment), so you are not alone. What you also have to get your head at is that sexual at a young age can fluctuate in both directions, so you might be gay one week and bi the next. It's also nothing to get stressed about, you aren't gonna lose your ability to have an erection forever. Also sometimes porn and erotica doesn't work as you think it should and it can take a few months and maybe even years to find out who you truly are. Hope this helps
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