This boy is so confusing

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This boy is so confusing

Unread postby GAYtway to your heart » 27th November, 2017, 8:38 pm

Hey GTF… It’s been a really long time since I’ve been on here lol. I remember me in my early gay teen years completely embarrassing myself with those naive post now that I look back at it :wasteland:

Anyways, I actually have some actual chaos and drama happening to me (unlike when I was 14 and posting about a boy that looked at me for 3 seconds once) and because my friends are all straight girls I feel like it’s best to return to my roots and ask the gays because we are the only people that will be able to actually understand and relate so hopefully I will get some pretty good advice out of this. Ok let’s begin I’m going to try to tell you the dilemma as briefly as possible but I apologize if it’s not.

Ok, So my best friend, we will call her Kayla, and I have been friends for the last 4 years. She had a twin brother, who we will call Tony, that in the beginning I would never really look twice at or noticed. He’s your typical like straight acting athletic guy - tall, dark and handsome :) So me and her were friends originally until maybe 2 years ago when we all started hanging out together and smoking together it was really fun and I never really thought much about it but me and him eventually started to develop our own friendship.

In the beginning I wouldn’t really think too much of him or think too much about anything that was possibly suspect because from prior experience I really just wasn’t trying to waste my time :nono: . At this point in time he would still stare at me, was overly interested in what I had to say, super touchy and friendly, and my sister even told me one time that she noticed him being a little too friendly when he was complimenting my face and saying “wow you have really nice facial features” but at this point in time I didn’t really care too much about him honestly like I had other people that I was more interested in tbh. But he knew I was gay and didn’t really care so he was cool.


So as time progresses it’s my senior year of high school and I guess me and him start to get closer and closer and he eventually becomes one of my close friends rather than being just “Kayla’s twin brother.” And I would hang out with him *with Kayla every day for the most part and I would smoke with them every day multiple times a day. (What else do seniors in high school do lmao) I also would frequently go out to parties with both of them and he would always be so interested in what I was doing at those parties, watching me dance etc. At this point in time because Kayla was usually with us, whenever he would do anything a little suspect or come on to me I would usually have to shut him down quickly because I didn’t want Kayla to see. Even though I’m pretty sure she would notice our close bond, for example when he would wait for me to get up from a table and walk with me while she was always a few steps in front by herself.

So we graduated high school and Kayla goes off to college, and now instead of me kayla and tony all hanging out it’s just me and tony hanging out. When she left everything took a drastic turn lol. He would smoke me out like every day and he would buy me food and put gas in my car with his own money. we would see each other 24/7 literally. We would constantly flirt and he would do so much cute shit and say so much cute shit like wow it was really like the honeymoon stage I would say. Like I would have no parents at my home so he would come over every day and we would be in my room hanging out laying in my bed. I feel like he had a slight kink because he would try to spit in my mouth and he would love to put his fingers in my mouth or he would want me to kiss his foot and he had a lot of fun overpowering me and pinning me down because he was so much stronger than me. Even if we were in my car we would sometimes play fight for like 2 hours (not even joking) and he would love to slap my face and basically just overpower me (I’m a bottom clearly lmao) but if we were in my room we would play fight on my bed and he would literally have my arms and legs pinned down with him on top of me and just looking up at his face during all of this like it was almost like a savage grin on his face idk like just like a really big sexual tension type thing if you get what I’m saying. He really had a thing for my nipples because on multiple occasions his mouth was suckling on them :3 ! One time being on the couch when he pinned my arms back and pulled my shirt up, then started sucking on both my nipples then moving down to my stomach and the another time while I was driving, he was drinking water and it was still in his mouth and he just put his mouth on my nipple through my shirt and opened his mouth slightly while the water penetrated my shit (very weird ik) and got to my actual nipple. He would call himself my Dad frequently and I feel like he was turned on by the idea of him having authority over me because during these play fights and moments of sexual tension he would like nod his head and smile while saying something like “yeahhhh respect your boss” (real smooth lol)

The main thing that bothered me was the fact that he has a girlfriend. You were prob expecting that right? He has a girlfriend and that’s the main reason why during all these moments I would never really do anything back to him bc I didn’t want to cross a line. The thing is that his girlfriend is literally as dumb as a dog (she’s an actual airhead I’m not being dramatic) and listens to anything he says. On more than one occasion he has said no to her or lied to her to hang out with me, would speak to her so poorly, and treat her so poorly. He has literally taken w*ed from his girlfriend to smoke with me alone before. There’s honestly so much more shit to say about their relationship but long story short the girlfriend would be the main reason why me and him would get into arguments so frequently. He would tell me through text “She didn’t mean anything to me 6 months ago” “why are you trying to push me away” and all this other bullshit and one time we got into an argument and I was like “you just confuse me” and he was like “I love you with my whole heart” “ I don’t know if you believe me but i’m being real with you” “I love you more than anyone” “do you have your validation now?” but he still had a girlfriend and the dynamic didn’t really change after that so I didn’t really consider it a confession in the end.

Enough was enough and I finally told him that I liked him after not speaking to him for a few days. His reaction was "I can’t believe you were going to stop being my friend because of that” and “everything makes so much sense now” “this doesn’t change anything” blah blah. I was just a little confused because 1. he was surprised by my confession and I figured he would have known prior that I already liked him and 2. he didn’t really confess anything back to me. But the way that I confessed it was more so one sided on my part that I was the one that liked him, I didn’t really wanna accuse him of anything or bring up examples because I believe he’s in a denial stage and he wouldn’t be truthful regardless. When I was in 9th grade and someone would ask me if I was gay even though I was CLEARLY gay I would still not be truthful and say I’m straight! But even after my confession that I liked him the only thing that happened is he just got more suspect to me and just did more gay shit like biting my neck and my arms. Which ultimately left me more confused and frustrated. I remember one fight I got into with him where I was refusing to see him because I was telling him that it’s not normal for him to spend more time with me than with his girlfriend and that he should want to hangout with his gf and he got really upset and heated and was texting me in all caps like “WHY DO YOU CARE” “I WANNA HANGOUT WITH WHO I WANNA HANGOUT WITH” basically ignoring my argument. He was like so upset that I was telling him to spend time with his own girlfriend instead of being with me lol????

So fast forward to today about a week ago I got upset at him for some bullshit reason involving his girlfriend. The reason was more of a trigger honestly for all the other shit that’s happened because I exploded and dropped him from my life and deleted his number and everything because I was simply fed up with the bullshit. He texted me day after day saying that I was wrong and he gave me valid points and receipts I guess that proved that he may have been right, but like I said what happened was bigger than just what happened it was more of a trigger that reminded me of everything else and I just had enough. Currently he thinks that I just dropped him because I just don’t want to be his friend, because “he gave me proof and I’m still refusing to talk to him” and the last thing I texted him was that I hope he enjoys his life (dramatic af I know). My thing is I don’t really know where to go from this because on one hand I know that it’s better for me to just forget he exist and move on with my life but at the other end I feel kinda bad because he was so sweet to me and he thinks I just was being fake to him and I just simple don’t want to be his friend and he’s playing the victim and it’s pissing me off.

Also I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t and still don’t have feelings for him and it’s just annoying because I feel like he has feelings for me but his situation is completely different from mine. Like If he was gay (which I'm pretty sure he is lol) he has to suppress himself and his feelings. Like his parents are homophobic and they have already made some homophobic remarks to him. I remember one time I slept over his house and that same day I slept over he was washing the sheets in the laundry room after. So I guess the stepdad called his religious grandma and told her that it was odd that Tony would be washing the sheets when I sleep over, basically insinuating that we did something, and the grandma called the mom and the mom called Tony snapping at him while I was literally next to him. Like the stepdad went out of his way to cause problems by calling their religious grandma. Also his older sister asked Kayla if Tony was gay too while she was at college so other people have peeped as well. oh and another thing is that the GF and her friends have talked about me and tony’s weird relationship too, one of my close friends has hanged out with the GF before while going out and she told me they mentioned me as well as certain examples of me and him being weird "like one time when Tony bought a coloring book and color pencils and we were on a coloring date." My friend also told me that she told her friends that Tony was with me, they were like “ooooohhhh” and “don’t you think that’s a little weird” and she was just like “They aren’t alone right now so nothing is happening” but basically saying that something could happen if we were alone and I just don’t understand why she stays if she is openly competing with a GAY BOY! Like she has subtweeted me so many times omg. But like I said she is really not smart. OK if anyone finished reading please help I have not known what to do for the longest time.
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Re: This boy is so confusing

Unread postby Dolly » 28th November, 2017, 1:05 am

Would you want to be the girlfriend's position? Would you want to be cheated on, lied to, and overall disrespected? You already know the answer to your problem.
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Re: This boy is so confusing

Unread postby GAYtway to your heart » 28th November, 2017, 3:02 am

Pity wrote:Would you want to be the girlfriend's position? Would you want to be cheated on, lied to, and overall disrespected? You already know the answer to your problem.


no but that's just how he treats her. He treats me like he's suppose to treat his gf lol like he doesn't lie to me to not hangout with me, takes me out for food, dates, and he knows to never disrespect me because I wont hesitate to drop him
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Re: This boy is so confusing

Unread postby Dolly » 28th November, 2017, 11:35 am

I am implying that you should cut it off with him.
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Re: This boy is so confusing

Unread postby GAYtway to your heart » 28th November, 2017, 2:14 pm

Pity wrote:I am implying that you should cut it off with him.



Honestly that's what I'm thinking. The only thing is I don't really have closure and I kinda feel bad that he thinks I just don't want to be his friend for no reason. But in the end he probably won't leave her for me to keep his straight image so I'm just wasting my time and putting myself in his closet. ugh it's sad why the world is like this
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Re: This boy is so confusing

Unread postby Kaspar » 28th November, 2017, 5:22 pm

You gotta remember to cut the relationship if it's becoming toxic nd hurting you. If he says that the girlfriend doesn't mean anything, but at the same time doesn't want to leave her for you, then I don't think it's worth pursuing him, honestly :(
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Re: This boy is so confusing

Unread postby Nilthing » 29th November, 2017, 2:00 am

You should cut it off with him, at least until he cuts it off with his girlfriend.
Stick to your morals and don't enable a cheater.

He may very legitimately be bisexual and need sexual attention from both sexes but withstanding any consent from his partner/s, allowing that to happen is going to her and you in the long run.
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Re: This boy is so confusing

Unread postby GAYtway to your heart » 29th November, 2017, 7:05 pm

Nilthing wrote:You should cut it off with him, at least until he cuts it off with his girlfriend.
Stick to your morals and don't enable a cheater.

He may very legitimately be bisexual and need sexual attention from both sexes but withstanding any consent from his partner/s, allowing that to happen is going to her and you in the long run.


Ok So I didn't talk to him for like two weeks but today after I got a notification on twitter saying that he followed me (again after I blocked him) I decided to text him why he would expect me to follow him. Long story short I'm going to meet up with him tonight to "talk" and "resolve" things and I don't know what will come out of this but I hope I can get closure at the very least if I end up not seeing him ever again. I just don't know what even really to ask/discuss with him like idk If I'll be able to be 100% direct and say everything I'm thinking but I'm gonna start thinking of shit now beforehand
Last edited by GAYtway to your heart on 29th November, 2017, 7:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: This boy is so confusing

Unread postby Wayde » 30th November, 2017, 9:49 am

GAYtway to your heart wrote:
Nilthing wrote:You should cut it off with him, at least until he cuts it off with his girlfriend.
Stick to your morals and don't enable a cheater.

He may very legitimately be bisexual and need sexual attention from both sexes but withstanding any consent from his partner/s, allowing that to happen is going to her and you in the long run.


Ok So I didn't talk to him for like two weeks but today after I got a notification on twitter saying that he followed me (again after I blocked him) I decided to text him why he would expect me to follow him. Long story short I'm going to meet up with him tonight to "talk" and "resolve" things and I don't know what will come out of this but I hope I can get closure at the very least if I end up not seeing him ever again. I just don't know what even really to ask/discuss with him like idk If I'll be able to be 100% direct and say everything I'm thinking but I'm gonna start thinking of shit now beforehand

Please update, because now I'm invested in seeing how this turns out :rofl:
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Re: This boy is so confusing

Unread postby GAYtway to your heart » 1st December, 2017, 6:12 pm

UPDATE: So basically during the chat we had that night it started off with me trying to get in his head and I got him to tell me about his wall that he's built up that keeps all his bad feelings and thoughts which he says he keeps "because people can be judgemental" and it's a protective barrier he has around himself. He also talked about when he was younger how his stepdad would call him a pussy and weak whenever he would come to him with his issues which led to him not dealing with his emotions and building that wall. He also mentioned that he talks to himself a lot when he's alone about everything and it just made me wonder what really could he be hiding so much that he has to talk to himself whenever he's in his room. I was like "why don't you facetime people to chat?" and he said that he doesn't really have friends that he can facetime. Then he went on to say that he visualizes things in his head and that since he was younger he visualized my energy when he would close his eyes and that he could see his future or whatever :eli: and that when he finally started to talk to me he realized that I matched the energy and I was his person and that I will be at his wedding. (He's clearly an aquarius lmfao)

I wasn't satisfied with the conversation and still didn't really have closure so I vaguely hinted at his sexuality for like an hour until he said "I think I know what you are trying to ask me, You think I'm bisexual, or gay?" and I was like... "what :gay: ? well sometimes you just confuse me" and he wasn't really offended or shocked by the question I would say, he even said I was the third person to ask him that and he was like "Well...I'm not bisexual, I'm not gay, but..." then backtracked and started talking about how he treats everyone equal. So I went on to give him examples of his behavior that confuses me, I mentioned him sucking both my nipples and he said that he does that because I'm like his brother (even though I've known him for like 2 years lol) and that's how he plays and even said that I could ask his little 12 year old brother and he would say that thats what he does and then I brought up the fact that we got into a full blown argument because I wasn't trying to hangout with him so that he could hang out with HIS GF :crazy: (I was fed up being in the middle of their relationship issues and her complaining about lack of alone time so this was my natural response) !!! He then gave me some bullshit excuse about how it annoyed him bc he felt like he did spend a lot of time with his gf however I didn't let that excuse slide and said "no but back then I would be with you from 9 am in the morning to 11 pm -2 am so whenever you would see her I would be with you" and he was like :err: and "it wasn't fair for me to be in the middle of your relationship" and he agreed with me. At this point I'm just getting major denial vibes bc it reminds me of myself when I was younger with the isolation, wall barrier, and the fact that he reacted exactly how I would react when I was in the denial stage: He wasn't offended or shocked, he just said he's not gay, not bisexual instead of saying that he was straight or only liked girls (I would always do that omg), and gave really bad excuses to my receipts

edit: He still is trying to see me and hang out with me to chill even after this conversation. I think I'm just going to try to just keep it strictly platonic unless he wants to come correct tbh :dunno:
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Re: This boy is so confusing

Unread postby elidi.guri » 11th December, 2017, 6:50 pm

i have a new ship lool
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