What is my sexuality?

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What is my sexuality?

Unread postby Confuzzled.com » 5th August, 2017, 7:05 pm

Hi, I know this probably sounds like an easier topic than it should be but I don't really know my sexuality and it is confusing me massively and i don't really know what to think. I feel attracted to both men and women but only want to have a romantic relationship with a woman. (Don't know if this is because of stereotypes and typical norms...) I see both hot guys and hot women and can get aroused by both but feel bad whenever it's a male. I don't really know where I stand, my mind and heart are telling me very different things, any help is appreciated.
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Re: What is my sexuality?

Unread postby Lochlan » 5th August, 2017, 7:11 pm

Hey Oliver! I suggest you introduce yourself at some point in the introductions thread :)
To the question at hand, it depends on a lot of things, and ultimately it is for you to decide. As I don't know your age, it could be a thing to do with being too young to have proper romantic feelings, but otherwise, it is entirely possible that you are simply not interested in pursuing a relationship with the same sex. As you say, it could be due to the way you were raised and the way you see relationships - I for one was still confused about my sexuality until the first time I had romantic feelings for another guy. All in all, take it one step at a time and try not to define yourself, you'll make your way eventually - no matter who you fall in love with. :keke:
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Re: What is my sexuality?

Unread postby Kaspar » 5th August, 2017, 7:28 pm

How old are you btw? You can perceive things quite differently before or through puberty :P There is a possibility you are bi, but I wouldn't judge that just yet. There are many ways this can be, like romantic attraction to just one gender, while sexual attraction to both, this happens too. But yeah, generally try not to force it. Discovering yourself is a long process that takes time to figure out :)
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Re: What is my sexuality?

Unread postby Pity » 5th August, 2017, 10:45 pm

I think that you are probably bisexual, but it is important to note that bisexuality is not necessarily a 50/50 split between males and females in the same way. Some people I have seen in your situation use the term "heteroromantic" when their romantic and sexual interests do not align the same way. You should probably wait and take some time to envision different scenarios (e.g. going on a date with a guy, having sex with a woman, et cetera) and see if you get any clearer sense of your sexuality. Sadly, nobody can figure out your sexuality except yourself. Wishing you the best! :)
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Re: What is my sexuality?

Unread postby Scorpius X-1 » 5th August, 2017, 11:28 pm

The ace* community invented the idea of referring to (romantic orientation, sexual orientation). Example: panromantic homosexual, meaning that gender is irrelevant in romantic attraction, but sexual feelings for guys only. I'm not saying that's what you are or anything; it's an example. You'd be like heteroromantic bisexual, based on what you said.

*asexual; they often experience romantic attraction without sexual attraction.

So instead of calling yourself bi, which would be true but not accurate, you can use a romantic-sexual orientation label.
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Re: What is my sexuality?

Unread postby Confuzzled.com » 6th August, 2017, 3:37 am

See I don't what to have a really confusing label or definition about what my sexuality is. I get the heteromantic bisexual and it does make a lot of sense actually. It's just you get all these people saying bi people are greedy in some way or are just confused. Where as gay people know which gender theure attracted to and people are more comfortable with that.
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Re: What is my sexuality?

Unread postby Scorpius X-1 » 6th August, 2017, 11:42 am

Confuzzled.com wrote:See I don't what to have a really confusing label or definition about what my sexuality is. I get the heteromantic bisexual and it does make a lot of sense actually. It's just you get all these people saying bi people are greedy in some way or are just confused. Where as gay people know which gender theure attracted to and people are more comfortable with that.


Labels don't create your sexuality. They describe it. Using a simpler label such as "gay" would not make your sexuality any less confusing to you. (The confusion may fade later; maybe your sexuality will be the same but you'll become used to it, and be familiar with your particular orientation.) Using the label "gay" would have you in the closet about your romantic and sexual feelings for the opposite sex.

In addition to the "bisexual" and "heteroromantic bisexual" options, there's another option: not using a label at all. Some do this, though I would guess it makes explaining to people their sexuality harder.
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Re: What is my sexuality?

Unread postby Ubiquitous » 7th August, 2017, 3:04 am

I totally agree with Scorpius X-1. Labels are just a simplification, we use them to make it easy for others to understand something. If you don't know which label you could use when it comes to talking about your sexuality with others, just don't talk about it or explain it without using those labels. I know that not knowing our exact orientation may be frustrating but give it time! I don't know how old you are but I know people who discover their sexualities in their 20s so just don't rush. Notice that human sexuality is a very complex thing and even though I consider myself gay I wouldn't be suprised if at some point in my life I met a women who I would fall in love with or something. Seriously, give it time and chill ;)
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