Is it normal to feel uncomfortable with older guys?

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Is it normal to feel uncomfortable with older guys?

Unread postby Matheus18 » 2nd August, 2017, 5:35 pm

Well, last night I went to a nightclub with a friend and there I made out with a guy for the first time in my life.
I was not attracted to this guy in any moment, I just accepted to make out with him because I wanted to have my first experience with a guy, but after a few drinks, I was feeling so sleepy and with my mind so far away that I could not ask him to stop touching my body and just let him keep doing that.
I always wanted my first gay experience to be with a guy from my age group(17-19 years old) and I idealized this a lot, but having the hands of an older man caressing my body made me so immensely uncomfortable that I'm questioning my sexuality for the first time in a long time, kissing him was not repulsive, just weird(I never imagined that my first kissing a guy would be like this).
Now I do not know if that feeling of discomfort was only because he was older or maybe because I'm not gay(which is unlikely since I feel really attracted to guys), I feel so conflicted.
This guy did not tell me his age when I asked him, but later he told my friend that he was 21 but I doubt that's true because he seems to be 26/27 years old or maybe more, he was acting so paternal to me that it reminded me of my dad and it made me even more uncomfortable and scared because I always had a very present father in my life and I don't need another one.
He said he wanted to see me again and today he sent me some messages on facebook but I ignored all of them(one of my best friends advised me to do so).
So my question is: any of you feel that way about older guys?
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Re: Is it normal to feel uncomfortable with older guys?

Unread postby Pity » 2nd August, 2017, 5:45 pm

I am not into older guys, but to be fair, it can be difficult to tell how old some people are within the 20s range. I think at this point you have to be confident with what you did. I mean, you allowed him to make out and touch you at the time, so you cannot just take that experience back. I prefer people in my own age range because I feel like age is important for long term relationships to work. I guess age does not matter for short term relationships, though, but I am personally not into them.
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Re: Is it normal to feel uncomfortable with older guys?

Unread postby Dessy » 2nd August, 2017, 5:52 pm

Yes it's normal to be uncomfortable if there's a sizable gap. It's one of the reason people stick with their age groups, generally. But reading what you said, it seems more like an issue with this one dude and the situation. You were drunk(?) so your experience probably isn't all that great because of that. I seen plenty of 25/26 years old that haven't really matured beyond 18, and some of course that could be in their 30s. Depends on what you get. Personally I never had an issue getting with someone older. If you think it's probably your sexuality, I would stick with your own age group until you can figure that out.
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Re: Is it normal to feel uncomfortable with older guys?

Unread postby c70 » 2nd August, 2017, 9:49 pm

I haven't had any experiences really yet, But I think that I, personally, would feel uncomfortable with anyone outside my age group. I am personally not into that and I think that it is probably not your sexuality. I am going to try to have experiences with guys around my age.
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Re: Is it normal to feel uncomfortable with older guys?

Unread postby Scorpius X-1 » 2nd August, 2017, 11:13 pm

I feel uncomfortable with older guys, yes.
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Re: Is it normal to feel uncomfortable with older guys?

Unread postby Ubiquitous » 5th August, 2017, 5:36 am

Look, it's normal to feel uncomfortable with anyone, no matter if it's an older guy or someone at your age. Don't question your sexuality because of it. I'm 21 and I don't have anny issues with 25, 26 years old guys but when I was 19 I could even think of doing anything with them so it's propably just a matter of time.
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Re: Is it normal to feel uncomfortable with older guys?

Unread postby Matheus18 » 5th August, 2017, 5:59 pm

Dessy wrote:Yes it's normal to be uncomfortable if there's a sizable gap. It's one of the reason people stick with their age groups, generally. But reading what you said, it seems more like an issue with this one dude and the situation. You were drunk(?) so your experience probably isn't all that great because of that. I seen plenty of 25/26 years old that haven't really matured beyond 18, and some of course that could be in their 30s. Depends on what you get. Personally I never had an issue getting with someone older. If you think it's probably your sexuality, I would stick with your own age group until you can figure that out.

Well, I had not drunk too much, but I drink really fast so maybe I was lightly drunk, this experience was so awful that now I remember it every time I think of trying anything with a guy again and feel repulsed by it(even if it's a guy I feel attracted to) .
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