Quite the predicament...

This is the place to discuss and get advice about things like coming out and relationships. Everyone is expected to be courteous here.

Quite the predicament...

Unread postby Peekaboo » 25th July, 2017, 5:29 pm

To give some background... just before i came home from university i'd met someone whom i liked and they seemed to like me. We'd been on a two dates before we left but we often remained in contact between times. When it came time to leave we said our goodbyes and that we would see each other on our return to university.

Complications began about a week into separation once we'd both had a little time home, he seemed to begin to have doubts and a few days later had suggested that we not return to dating when we return in September. His reasoning was that our conversations didn't flow well and that we didn't seem to click, both of which i had doubts since we didn't really know each other well but when we did find common areas things went well.

Cutting a long discussion short, we agreed that we would try again in September on the condition that we do not speak over the summer break to give things time to reset. This seemed good at the time but as time passes i'm beginning to doubt wether or not trying again is worth it, i get the feeling that damage has already been done and we wouldn't be able to pass it, given that it was a very new relationship that didn't last long before ending again.

I also get the feeling that i can't just let things reset since i haven't been able to forget about them, they're always on the back of my mind because the arrangement means that i haven't got closure, I'm just kinda in limbo.

Any advice?
Should i just try to forget and see if they contact me in September or should i just tell them we shouldn't bother?
My main problem is that i can't escape the feeling that I'm telling myself to agree that it can't work just to make myself feel better, like I'm setting myself up for failure when i actually want to give it one last good try.
At least that way i can say i gave it a chance and if it doesn't work out after that then so be it.
Fear is a Fiction that limits Curiosity
User avatar
Peekaboo
Member
 
First name: Jakob
Posts: 73
Likes received: 31
Joined: 10th April, 2017, 2:46 pm
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Re: Quite the predicament...

Unread postby Pity » 25th July, 2017, 5:39 pm

There does not appear to be any harm in at least going on another date. I do not understand how the relationship can work if both of you are going to different universities and can only see each other on your off times. With that being said, if you personally do not feel comfortable about "resetting" or think that any possibility of a relationship is tainted because of his words, there is no reason to be afraid of telling him that you are no longer interested. I hope it all works out for you in the end. :heart: :)
Image
User avatar
Pity
hotty & disgraced member
 
First name: Marcus
Posts: 3016
Likes received: 475
Joined: 19th July, 2015, 11:50 pm
Location: Apex, NC
Country: United States (us)

Re: Quite the predicament...

Unread postby Peekaboo » 25th July, 2017, 5:49 pm

Pity wrote:There does not appear to be any harm in at least going on another date. I do not understand how the relationship can work if both of you are going to different universities and can only see each other on your off times. With that being said, if you personally do not feel comfortable about "resetting" or think that any possibility of a relationship is tainted because of his words, there is no reason to be afraid of telling him that you are no longer interested. I hope it all works out for you in the end. :heart: :)


We go to the same university, our homes far apart, sorry for the confusion :)
Thank you for the input :heart:
Fear is a Fiction that limits Curiosity
User avatar
Peekaboo
Member
 
First name: Jakob
Posts: 73
Likes received: 31
Joined: 10th April, 2017, 2:46 pm
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Re: Quite the predicament...

Unread postby Kaspar » 25th July, 2017, 6:08 pm

Yeah, give it a try :)
Proudly, the Captain of team Spirited Away
House Cup 2017

mattyk wrote:You are indeed all-round 100% certified awesome!



ImageImage
ImageImage
User avatar
Kaspar
The Kind Moderator / Lochlan's cat enthusiast
 
First name: Kacper
Posts: 1394
Likes received: 329
Joined: 18th January, 2017, 5:50 pm
Location: Northern Poland, almost by the sea ey
Country: Poland (pl)

Re: Quite the predicament...

Unread postby Kaspar » 25th July, 2017, 6:09 pm

Also, if the conversations got better when you found similar interests, go for that and try to look for them
Proudly, the Captain of team Spirited Away
House Cup 2017

mattyk wrote:You are indeed all-round 100% certified awesome!



ImageImage
ImageImage
User avatar
Kaspar
The Kind Moderator / Lochlan's cat enthusiast
 
First name: Kacper
Posts: 1394
Likes received: 329
Joined: 18th January, 2017, 5:50 pm
Location: Northern Poland, almost by the sea ey
Country: Poland (pl)

Re: Quite the predicament...

Unread postby c70 » 28th July, 2017, 9:15 pm

Try to focus the conversation on things you have in common. I don't see any harm in giving it another shot. :)
Look I finally got a profile picture :D
User avatar
c70
Member
 
First name: Thomas
Posts: 176
Likes received: 15
Joined: 19th April, 2016, 10:09 pm
Country: Canada (ca)

Re: Quite the predicament...

Unread postby pilotchase » 30th July, 2017, 12:37 am

Just so you have realistic expectations, and based on my past experiences, I'm sorry to put this so bluntly but it really sounds like he has someone else he is talking to. I'm sorry to say that, but I wouldn't be surprised if he isn't wanting to date when you guys go back for the reason he is already in a relationship then.
User avatar
pilotchase
New Member
 
First name: Chase
Posts: 38
Likes received: 6
Joined: 13th June, 2016, 6:28 am
Location: San Francisco, CA
Country: United States (us)


Recently active
Users browsing this forum: Baidu [Spider], CommonCrawl [Bot], JonathanT88, RavingHomosexual, Yahoo [Bot] and 13 guests