Coming out to Parents

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Coming out to Parents

Unread postby Matthew124 » 24th July, 2017, 4:59 pm

I've told most of my friends that I'm gay and they're all cool with it but I still need to tell my parents and I haven't got the courage to do so. I would like to do it before the end of summer and before I go to university, but I'm not so sure about the reaction I will receive. Do you think it would be best to do it separately?
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Re: Coming out to Parents

Unread postby boiii » 24th July, 2017, 5:02 pm

hey man, Lots of people struggle(d) with this.
Where're you from? Do you think they'll accept you?

I would both tell them at the same time, but honestly. I haven't done it yet. So I'm not a good source.
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Re: Coming out to Parents

Unread postby Kaspar » 24th July, 2017, 5:12 pm

It depends on your case actually. If one of your parents is way more tolerant than the other, I would recommend telling this parent first. He can then help you with coming out to the other parent. If they are both quite tolerant, you should just go on and tell them. Maybe start the conversation on the topic of relationships and then gradually get to the point. I know it is horribly scary, but you need to do it eventually, there is no easier option. But believe me, most of us have been through it too. It feels bad only when you are coming out, after that it feels GREAT. The relief is indescribable :) I wish you the best luck mate! :heart:
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Re: Coming out to Parents

Unread postby Rwinter96 » 24th July, 2017, 5:12 pm

I would say do what feels right. If you think it's better to tell them together, do it. Or maybe you think you should tell them separately, that is also valid. In the end, this is about what you want and this is something only you can make the decisions about. Wait until you are ready and if you are really scared they'll take it badly, wait until your first day at uni (the day they drop you off/ you leave) to tell them so you don't have to be at home to deal with any potential negative reactions
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Re: Coming out to Parents

Unread postby MCarr » 24th July, 2017, 5:14 pm

I haven't come out, but I would say to tell them both at the same time. It just seems simpler and instead of going through the stress twice you just get it done in one turn. If I tell my mom something in confidence most of the times I end up knowing she told my dad about it. I don't know how your parents are, but I guess this could happen.
Do it when you feel you're ready, that's the most important thing. Good luck! :)
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Re: Coming out to Parents

Unread postby Abdeltyf » 24th July, 2017, 5:36 pm

I would say don't do it yet. I don't know how much your parents may accept it, or their views upon the subject, but if you waited until the end of high school, then I don't think it's the right time. See how life goes for you during university. If all goes well, you can tell them during the first year, or even the second. Nothing is rushing you. If you really care about them though, and are thinking of starting (serious) relationships, then tell them. You're distancing yourself from them, and it wouldn't be that great to leave with that huge secret.
I personally came to terms with the coming-out-to-parents thing. I will not tell them until I'm a grown, independent adult, and the opportunity occurs. That way, if they don't want to accept it, then their loss. I don't imagine myself looking for a serious relationship in the future anyways :P
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Re: Coming out to Parents

Unread postby Pity » 24th July, 2017, 7:13 pm

If you think that they will be homophobic, it is best to avoid coming out because you are in a vulnerable position with you being in college, especially if they help with your finances or allow will allow you to live with them during winter and summer breaks. If you are afraid of it being awkward, I think it is best to text them or message them on Facebook. It probably removes a lot of the emotional aspects of it. I hope it all goes well :) :heart:
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Re: Coming out to Parents

Unread postby Rwinter96 » 24th July, 2017, 8:36 pm

Pity wrote:If you think that they will be homophobic, it is best to avoid coming out because you are in a vulnerable position with you being in college, especially if they help with your finances or allow will allow you to live with them during winter and summer breaks. If you are afraid of it being awkward, I think it is best to text them or message them on Facebook. It probably removes a lot of the emotional aspects of it. I hope it all goes well :) :heart:


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