I've 'met' a guy, what now?

This is the place to discuss and get advice about things like coming out and relationships. Everyone is expected to be courteous here.

I've 'met' a guy, what now?

Unread postby Something101 » 21st July, 2017, 7:29 pm

Hi there, i would greatly appreciate you opinion on this situation.
A month ago, last day at school, I met a guy. I have been thinking about him and what to do next considering the circumstance of the 'meeting' ever since, let me explain:
I was in class eating launch with some classmates/friends, keep in mind that this it is the first year of 'high school' in Denmark (not exactly sure if it's the same in the states, I'm 17 btw),
The conversation had been about some girls from another class sitting in our class. As two of my classmates usually do they were very straightforward and asked if they weren't something for me, it didn't make it better that I had to walk by them to get my water bottle and food. Anyway I denied that they were for me and the conversation kept on. In their usual fashion they like to tease me about things, I played along, as I like getting back at them a little.
At some point a guy comes in, a friends friend, I turned around, as the door was behind me and my teasing friends opposite of me, to take a quick look to she who it is. I barely saw him, just that it was a guy. He talked a little to my friend behind my back, while I talked and teased my other classmates/friends, after sometime the door shuts and my other friend sits down (he isn't as teasing). The first thing one of my teasing friends asks is if I thought he was hot and I told them that I didn't see him or know what they are talking about. The other one quickly jumps on and aks the same with the same response. They asked if I would have sex with him and I just shook my head and got redder in the face, as I'm in the closet to everyone (at the moment its fine by me, but getting less so).
A little after he comes in again. And our mutual friend walks over to him to talk. Of course this time i'am curious to see what he looks like, so I take a look. He is nice, just my type. We established eye contact right after I turned around, he was talking so he looked away after a little. My friends of course saw it as they sit opposite of me and I have to turn around to see him. Quick as they are they say, that if he feels something in him, then it's me. Of course I was little shocked, denied it and quickly looked at him and saw that of course he too was a little shocked and getting a reddish facetone. I kept semi denying and trying to steer the conversation away from that topic. For some reason he had to come further in to the class to get something and sat on a table to my right, 4 meters/13ft. away with our mutual friend looking at us. As, naturally, my other friends joked about it a little more, he and I got redder in the face and couldn't keep eye contact for more than a second. They decided to introduce us on a first name basis, he cooperated, i didn't get the chance to, but he was clearly a little uncomfortable but also enjoying it.
I got the felling that he was gay from his red face and him being uncomfortable but not denying of it and lastly the way he looked at me. I have never had a guy looking at my like that even when considering the circumstance.
After some more teasing and both of us being red in face and uncomfortable, our mutual friend reminded us that we had to finish an assignment before class. So we went over to do it at our table in the other end of the classroom. He's friend followed, to my teasing friends enjoyment and mine too. I tried to just do the assignment, while the others looked at us and talked about us quietly in the background. I learend his name again, Markus (common danish name), we looked a little at each other again, but he had to go after sometime just sitting there. Even though he had to leave earlier on.

I haven't stopped thinking about the 'incident', him, what to do and wherther or not he might be in to me or gay or what I could do to find out. I have read the "The guide to your straight crush: Is he gay?" post, but need some advice. Right now its summer vacation and it will be for another month. I have thought about doing one or two of these things to get to know him:

- Contact him on facebook, btw he has no profile photo so have I, but since it's sometime ago now and considering the circumstance, i think it's not the best move, or?
- Hope we will have some courses together when school starts and then get to know him there.
- Try to maybe find him at a party at the school and get to know him there a little and maybe the friend him on facebook. I can see that he is friends with some from my class possibly after a party.
- (Last measure) ask my mutual friend if he's gay or into me, he might know something as they seem to be quite close. I have considered the consequences.
- Come out to my class, in a smooth way, and then one of the above, as i might be ready to come out when school starts.

My questions are:
- Do you think he likes me or is gay?
- What should I do?

Thanks for taking the time to read this very long post!


Edit:

PS: If it weren't clearly stated then, I'am gay, but in the closet.
Last edited by Something101 on 29th July, 2017, 1:52 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Something101
New Member
 
First name: John
Posts: 5
Likes received: 3
Joined: 21st July, 2017, 6:03 pm
Location: Copenhagen
Country: Denmark (dk)

Re: I've 'met' a guy, what now?

Unread postby Pity » 21st July, 2017, 8:05 pm

I do not think there is any real way to tell if he is gay or not. His face could have very well gotten red because he was embarrassed about the situation in general. Nobody really knows. At this point, I would suggest that you casually try talking to him on Facebook. You could try jokingly bringing up the incident and then follow up by asking him if he is gay or by you coming out to him. This would probably be less awkward than asking him in person. If you do not feel comfortable doing that, you could just wait until next year and try to be a close friend. Regardless of how you do it, I hope it all works out well for you! :) :gay:
Image
User avatar
Pity
hotty & disgraced member
 
First name: Marcus
Posts: 3016
Likes received: 475
Joined: 19th July, 2015, 11:50 pm
Location: Apex, NC
Country: United States (us)

Re: I've 'met' a guy, what now?

Unread postby Bob1029 » 22nd July, 2017, 7:28 am

Honestly in that situation I would've probably not have made any eye contact as the person walking into the classroom if I wasn't gay, it would be different if you were talking to him but you weren't so I think that the eye contact could very well be a sign that he's gay and maybe even into you. If you can talking to him over the holidays would be a great idea, you'd get to know him and he'd get to know you and maybe even start dating in the holidays. But there isn't really one way of telling if someone is gay or not, especially if they haven't come out or are around friends that tease other friends.
Bob1029
Member
 
First name: Bobby
Posts: 51
Likes received: 9
Joined: 17th June, 2017, 4:46 am
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Re: I've 'met' a guy, what now?

Unread postby Something101 » 22nd July, 2017, 8:46 am

Thanks for the replies bob1029 and Pity, they are deeply appreciated!
Unfortunately I have no real way to talk to him other than facebook, which i'am not that comfortable in doing since I'm in the closet, but I might have to as I can't stop thinking about the way he looked at me.
Something101
New Member
 
First name: John
Posts: 5
Likes received: 3
Joined: 21st July, 2017, 6:03 pm
Location: Copenhagen
Country: Denmark (dk)

Re: I've 'met' a guy, what now?

Unread postby c70 » 22nd July, 2017, 10:47 pm

The first option is to just talk to Markus over Facebook. You don't have to come out to him, but maybe just take it slow and make friends with him first. And then, when you are comfortable, come out to him. If he is gay, you might be able to tell from his reaction or statements that follow your news.

The second option I see, is, if, and when you are ready. I would try talking to your mutual friend and bringing up the "situation", and maybe ask him if he knows if the Markus is gay. This might require that you come out to your mutual friend though. (which is why it is the second option).

Good luck and let us know how it goes. :) Also, feel free to make an introduction in the "introductions" Discussion on the homepage.
Look I finally got a profile picture :D
User avatar
c70
Member
 
First name: Thomas
Posts: 176
Likes received: 15
Joined: 19th April, 2016, 10:09 pm
Country: Canada (ca)

Re: I've 'met' a guy, what now?

Unread postby Dessy » 23rd July, 2017, 10:25 am

It's more likely that he was just staring at you because... whatever. I had several straight dudes done that to me at times. If it been a month since, I probably wouldn't contact him on Facebook. Might be awkward and all, especially if you haven't spoken much. So I would probably wait to befriend him in person if you want to know more about him.
Image
ImageImage
ImageImage


Image
User avatar
Dessy
Moderator Emeriti
 
First name: Des
Posts: 10317
Likes received: 306
Joined: 16th September, 2013, 2:02 am
Country: United States (us)

Re: I've 'met' a guy, what now?

Unread postby Something101 » 23rd July, 2017, 11:12 am

Thanks @c70 and @Dessy again.

Additional info:
I would have acted exactly like he did if we switched position and thats one of the reasons I suspect that he is gay but in the closet like me.
Something101
New Member
 
First name: John
Posts: 5
Likes received: 3
Joined: 21st July, 2017, 6:03 pm
Location: Copenhagen
Country: Denmark (dk)

Re: I've 'met' a guy, what now?

Unread postby Auralnauts » 24th July, 2017, 5:50 pm

Something101 wrote:At some point a guy comes in, a friends friend, friends opposite of me. friend classmates/friends, door shuts and my other friend . Just a detail the friend whos friend came in isn't so teasing. my teasing friends asks . And he's and my friend


Wat.

Just go for it dude, ask him if he's gay and kind of incinuate you are.
Image


"Gives the best advice"
-No one
User avatar
Auralnauts
No interesting title here.
 
Posts: 361
Likes received: 5
Joined: 5th June, 2013, 2:11 am
Location: New Jersey


Recently active
Users browsing this forum: Ahrefs [Bot], Baidu [Spider], Bing [Bot], CommonCrawl [Bot], JonathanT88, RavingHomosexual and 13 guests