My best friend and I made out please help!

This is the place to discuss and get advice about things like coming out and relationships. Everyone is expected to be courteous here.

My best friend and I made out please help!

Unread postby super_space_lesbian » 11th June, 2017, 4:04 am

Info you need to know before reading this:
-My best friend and I are both gay.
-we also are under 21 and completely sober in this situation.
-we are horrible with talking about emotions. Like... SUPER bad at it. We insult each other to show affection and never hug we're just emotionally constipated on the surface.

Anyway:
I've been crushing on my best friend for a couple years (because I'm a walking cliche) but haven't taken the risk to tell her because she's all I really have and I value our friendship above all else.
We occasionally will go to the local gay club to "meet cute girls" but never end up talking to or dancing with anyone but each other. So a couple weeks back we were trying to dance and we suck at it so we decided to grind cause that's easy. But it was super arousing for me and got pretty intimate but nothing happened.
Fast forward a month or so we go back to the club, and early on she suggests we grind again. Ok so that's happening and I'm trying not to get super turned on but she's feeling me up and I'm doing it back and idk who initiated but eventually we end up making out for a while. I drag her to the hall to talk but she pins me against the wall and kisses me more.
When we pull away we're both laughing and tired and decide to get water but never talk about it. We go back to normal. I text her that we need to talk but there's no rush and she's like "yeah lol"
When I eventually text her later about it and kinda explain my feelings and ask what she wants to do, she says she doesn't regret it but she doesn't know if it was wanted or heat of the moment.
I leave it up to her how to continue and she says we should leave it be for now since we're both going away for the summer.
I can't tell if she is just trying to let me down gently or if she seriously just wants to wait until fall to explore this aspect of our relationship.
I guess I just don't know what to do now because it's hard to ignore what happened but she seems to be doing it just fine. Like it's been back to normal I think since then.
Any advice for this confused, frustrated lesbian?
(Sorry for the long story. I needed to provide as much background as I could)
super_space_lesbian
New Member
 
Posts: 2
Joined: 11th June, 2017, 3:09 am
Country: United States (us)

Re: My best friend and I made out please help!

Unread postby Auralnauts » 11th June, 2017, 5:35 am

super_space_lesbian wrote:Info you need to know before reading this:
-My best friend and I are both gay.

Anyway:
.............go to the local gay club to "meet cute girls" ................. she........


Oh.... yeah I can't relate but I would honestly just be like "yo you forreal like me or what, I need to know so we can just stay friends and I don't make this friendship awkward".
Image


"Gives the best advice"
-No one
User avatar
Auralnauts
No interesting title here.
 
Posts: 364
Likes received: 5
Joined: 5th June, 2013, 2:11 am
Location: New Jersey

Re: My best friend and I made out please help!

Unread postby Pity » 11th June, 2017, 10:47 am

I think there’s no question that she’s at least bicurious given her excursions with you at the club. I think it’s inportant to understand that she could be just exploring her sexuality, so it is best to trust her when she says she has to think everything over. Sometimes people do things in the heat of the moment and may not be into a relationship. I hope everything goes well!
Image
User avatar
Pity
hotty & disgraced member
 
First name: Marcus
Posts: 3042
Likes received: 489
Joined: 19th July, 2015, 11:50 pm
Location: Apex, NC
Country: United States (us)

Team: The Wild West

Re: My best friend and I made out please help!

Unread postby Scherzy » 11th June, 2017, 11:21 am

Pity wrote:I think there’s no question that she’s at least bicurious given her excursions with you at the club. I think it’s inportant to understand that she could be just exploring her sexuality, so it is best to trust her when she says she has to think everything over. Sometimes people do things in the heat of the moment and may not be into a relationship. I hope everything goes well!

She's gay, OP said.
It really depends on you guys, i guess. Friendships turning into relationships can be either great or devastating :)
ImageImage

ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
User avatar
Scherzy
Community Ambassador
 
First name: Aiden
Posts: 1610
Likes received: 180
Joined: 4th February, 2016, 12:22 am
Location: New York
Country: United States (us)

Team: The Wild West

Re: My best friend and I made out please help!

Unread postby Kaspar » 11th June, 2017, 11:38 am

I think you shouldn't push on her now, she might actually need some space to figure things out. Give it some time to cool down and then you'll be able to say if she is indeed interested or not, forcefully interrupting her now can actually mess things up even more! Hope all goes well for you two in the end :heart:
Proudly, the Captain of team Spirited Away
House Cup 2017

mattyk wrote:You are indeed all-round 100% certified awesome!



ImageImage
ImageImage
User avatar
Kaspar
The Kind Moderator / Lochlan's cat enthusiast
 
First name: Kacper
Posts: 1578
Likes received: 361
Joined: 18th January, 2017, 5:50 pm
Location: Northern Poland, almost by the sea ey
Country: Poland (pl)

Team: The Far East

Re: My best friend and I made out please help!

Unread postby Squipel » 15th June, 2017, 4:06 am

Like Kaspar said, she probably needs some time/space to figure what's happened, so maybe give it a rest for a while. Hope everything goes well between you two at the end!
Image
Squipel
King of the Gingers
 
First name: James
Posts: 329
Likes received: 17
Joined: 23rd April, 2017, 10:09 am
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Team: The Far East

Re: My best friend and I made out please help!

Unread postby M4DNESS » 15th June, 2017, 10:49 am

Yeah so keep texting her and talking to her like you guys used to and maybe in one to two months, bring it up again and see if she is ready to talk.
Image
User avatar
M4DNESS
Eric Saade Impersonator. I will be Popular.
 
First name: Alex
Posts: 1314
Likes received: 9
Joined: 5th April, 2014, 4:25 am
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Country: Sweden (se)

Re: My best friend and I made out please help!

Unread postby Zackie » 10th August, 2017, 12:57 am

There are a number of options here. She could be into you, she could be curious, she could be letting you down gently, or she could genuinely want to keep this going in the fall. Regardless of which route pokes its head out, my advice is: Tread Lightly.

Long-Term Friendships becoming relationships can either be beautiful or tragic. It fucking sucks to wind up on the butt end of that possibility, I've been there. Don't force her into something she isn't sure about, or doesn't want, don't obsess, and don't rush anything. If a potential relationship or the foundation for said relationship feels like it's going by a little quickly, that's probably because it is. Take a step back and let 2nd nature be the judge. That might take a while, for you and her.

In any case, the main goal should be to preserve the relationship, even if that means just letting it be a friendship. It's better than losing them entirely.

Good Luck! :P
████████████████████████████████████
“Sometimes it is the people no one can imagine anything of
who do the things no one can imagine.”
― Alan Turing

June 23 1912 - June 7 1954
Suicide via Cyanide

████████████████████████████████████
User avatar
Zackie
New Member
 
Posts: 10
Joined: 8th August, 2017, 10:31 pm


Recently active
Users browsing this forum: Baidu [Spider], CommonCrawl [Bot], ImStruggling, JimJamJames, stefanmek, Trendiction [Bot], Yandex [Bot] and 113 guests