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This is the place to discuss and get advice about things like coming out and relationships. Everyone is expected to be courteous here.

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Unread postby Alpha123 » 17th February, 2012, 3:40 am

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Last edited by Alpha123 on 29th April, 2012, 5:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Thought things were getting better!

Unread postby Cobalt » 17th February, 2012, 3:46 am

Situational Lesson: Don't look for boyfriends at a club.

Life Lesson: Don't look for boyfriends at all.

If you let the right guy find his way to you, that's when you know you have a chance at something real. All that actively searching for a boyfriend does is set you up for getting hurt, just like it did in this case. The right guy will come along some day, but you have to sit back and let him. Don't try to turn someone into something they aren't because of your hopes.

That being said, I'm sorry for how this turned out and I hope someone comes along who turns your life around. :hug:
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Re: Thought things were getting better!

Unread postby The Hierophant » 17th February, 2012, 3:53 am

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Re: Thought things were getting better!

Unread postby Xendraz » 17th February, 2012, 4:33 am

Cobalt wrote:Situational Lesson: Don't look for boyfriends at a club.

Life Lesson: Don't look for boyfriends at all.

If you let the right guy find his way to you, that's when you know you have a chance at something real. All that actively searching for a boyfriend does is set you up for getting hurt, just like it did in this case. The right guy will come along some day, but you have to sit back and let him. Don't try to turn someone into something they aren't because of your hopes.

That being said, I'm sorry for how this turned out and I hope someone comes along who turns your life around. :hug:

:werd:
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Re: Thought things were getting better!

Unread postby Alpha123 » 25th February, 2012, 2:42 pm

Thanks for the replies. I know I'm (probaby) not going to find a BF after going to a club a couple of times, but it's the best chance I have as it's pure luck to meet anyone else gay outside of gay clubs. If we all just left other people to find their way to us we'd never find anyone and I'm not going to let my life go by just waiting for something to happen as I want to be pro active :P I'm getting over him pretty quickly but still feel sick when I see a mention of him on FB :/
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Re: Thought things were getting better!

Unread postby ad-hominem » 26th February, 2012, 3:47 pm

The exact same thing happened to me in a club, he was keen, attractive and great in bed. I was smart at first, just treating it like a one night stand and keeping my guard up.

We exchanged numbers and he broke the silence after a day, we ended up sleeping together frequently over the subsequent few weeks. The compliments from him rolled off his tongue like a well rehearsed play. There were promises of dates and romantic getaways and I thought to myself after a few weeks, maybe this guy actually likes me. WRONG

He leaves back to university and I miss him, the texts stopped coming and I was upset and confused having never been in this situation before. I eventually got over him and I am now fine :)

The chances of you finding a boyfriend in a club long term whilst not impossible, is very slim. I'll never say never, but men are cunts. Plain and simple, this is one of the things you have to go through life and endure and suffer through because that's just how it is. I hope you have the strength to power through and if you need to chat or anything don't hesitate to pm me :)

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Re: Thought things were getting better!

Unread postby Skyhawk » 26th February, 2012, 7:10 pm

A good reply from Cobalt, yet i do not believe that just waiting works. I had my first ever boyfriend for two years and one day he ended it and never spoke to me again (circumstances unknown). It was crazy and made me crazy, from that day i thought what's the point in even trying, i will just sit and wait for the right person to come along. I waited far to long and now i actually have become the seeker, the wrong thing to do is to go to clubs. Like everyone has said it's all one night stands and 99% of the guys just wan't that.

The best way forward i would say is don't become to attached to someone too quickly. I have learn't this the hard way and it's painful, we probably all know this though. Try to find a nice guy and really get to know him well, don't even jump into a date that fast. Maybe just chat on the phone to him, learn what he likes, is he really suitable for you could you see yourself with him. Again don't think about this too deeply otherwise you end up doing what i said don't do above.

I wish you all the best in your search for mr right and as i'm sure many tell you, he will come a long. In the mean time the best way to keep your mind off guy's is do the stuff you love, well apart from the gym because it's full of them :P
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