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 Post subject: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 15th February, 2012, 1:34 am 
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So I seriously want to to tell people and my family that I'm gay but afraid of it. I've only recently become obsessive over it. And I've only recently come to terms with it myself. It's killing me. I'm nervous, because alot of people in my family are super religous. I guess all I'm asking is any tips?

Sorry if I'm being obnoxious posting this thread.
:-)

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 15th February, 2012, 1:47 am 
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Obnoxious? Never! The boards called drama for a reason is it not? :keke:

I know where you are though, and I gotta say its not a nice place to be :S I have only come to terms myself since October, so a couple of months now, and since then I have been able to tell a few close friends, but not my family. Within the past 2-3 weeks it grew on me far too much that I felt that I needed to come out because it was making me too depressed and running me down to the ground.

Like many others, I have a seemingly homophobic family(aka if your gay GTFO the house). I still live at home, been desperately trying to find a job and move out for 2 years now, so it simply isn't logical for me to come out.

The thing is, I thought about it too much. I don't need to come out now, at all, not until the time is right, which will be when I am independent.

I see from your introduction that you are heading to college. Perhaps I may suggest instead of coming out before you leave to just go to college, just start afresh when you get to college instead. You'll be free to do what you want then. Just introduce yourself to everybody as gay, get to know some people, find and join a LGBT group/society, just be you. When the time is right and you are settled well, then looking to tell parents and family may be a good choice :)

Whatever you choose to do, goodluck :thumbsup:

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 15th February, 2012, 1:47 am 
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If you accept it and you feel like you are ready then I say do it. Don't let other peoples problems about something not dealing with them keep you from living your life. I know it's hard I was there just a few months ago. I told my parents and they took it very well. I'll tell you what they told me. "If my parents know and are okay with it then I shouldn't give a fuck what anyone else thinks about it." They also said even if they did have a problem with it it's still my life and I should live my life for myself and not them or anyone else.

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 15th February, 2012, 1:58 am 
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Thanks
The thing is I've been really happy since ive come to terms with it. It's like a wave of 'I don't care what people think' has come over me and I think it will just get better if I come out. Would be weird at school though because I just recently broke up with my girlfriend. Lol. So I'll probably tell and keep posted.
Man tablets are hard to type on:-)

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 15th February, 2012, 2:01 am 
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Location: South East England
Well, coming to GTF may have been the best thing you have done for yourself :D

When I started coming to term with myself those few months ago GTF was the first place I came, and just talking to a few people helped me to pluck up the courage to come out to my first person :D Then it lead on to more people knowing and also me telling the first person I came out to I liked him =3 He isn't ready for a relationship though, but still, I did it ^^

Best thing about being on GTF is being able to talk to someone for once. Makes you realise your never alone, whatever the issue :gay:

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 15th February, 2012, 4:16 am 
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Last edited by The Hierophant on 16th August, 2012, 10:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 15th February, 2012, 4:19 am 
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Best wishes xoxo


Everything else I wrote was based on tl;dr

Then I read everything and realized I was bsing

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 15th February, 2012, 4:58 am 
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The Hierophant wrote:
Make sure that you're examining your situation objectively when you come out. Don't do it just because you're "obsessive" about it when your parents are going to throw you out. If you're leaving for college in a few months, I would definitely wait until then. Are your parents paying for your education, or are you working?

My mom won't throw me out that's for sure and we ain't got no money. I'm paying for college by my own merits. Im just worried that doing it after college will keep us distant. So I'm kinda wanting to get the whole situation worked out before then.

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 15th February, 2012, 6:01 am 
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Last edited by The Hierophant on 16th August, 2012, 10:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 16th February, 2012, 3:35 am 
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Well I came out to my mom today but have not been acknoledged since. I just hope the topic isn't thrown into the wayside.

Very nervous :noes:

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 16th February, 2012, 3:36 am 
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Double post

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 16th February, 2012, 5:26 am 
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Ziceroe wrote:
Well I came out to my mom today but have not been acknoledged since. I just hope the topic isn't thrown into the wayside.

Very nervous :noes:

Don't let her bury it under the rug! If it doesn't come up again naturally and soon then you need to do it yourself.
Oh, and congratulations!
My parents pretended if they never mentioned it that it would go away, and now it's just painful to bring up anything gay-related whatsoever. Will be wonderful when I send out wedding invitations years from now though.

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 16th February, 2012, 5:32 am 
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very curious to see how this turns out.

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 16th February, 2012, 9:52 pm 
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I came out to my best friend and he was cool about it. Haven't heard from the ma yet but definately gonna bring it up again if she doesn't. Can't turn back now and I'm happy about that.
:keke:

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 17th February, 2012, 1:02 am 
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Well that didn't go as planned, and i 'm not sure if I'll be able to talk to them again. It's a little crushing and disappointing. I just want to get back to the me that I was before I had to destroy my personality so it could fit into everyone's little normal heads. She said may need counseling. And then started to quiver into a shaky cry voice as if it's my fault. :wtc:

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 17th February, 2012, 1:57 am 
Old Colonial
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Ziceroe wrote:
Well that didn't go as planned, and i 'm not sure if I'll be able to talk to them again. It's a little crushing and disappointing. I just want to get back to the me that I was before I had to destroy my personality so it could fit into everyone's little normal heads. She said may need counseling. And then started to quiver into a shaky cry voice as if it's my fault. :wtc:

Awww :wtc:

:hug:
I'm sure it will turn out better than you think it will ;)

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 17th February, 2012, 2:11 am 
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We just had a rundown. I'm sitting here crying which I don't do. I feel like I lost everyone that I could trust and have no one to talk to which is why I'm posting on this site.
I just really don't want to be here anymore...
Values are bullshit

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 17th February, 2012, 2:15 am 
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Ziceroe wrote:
We just had a rundown. I'm sitting here crying which I don't do. I feel like I lost everyone that I could trust and have no one to talk to which is why I'm posting on this site.
I just really don't want to be here anymore...
Values are bullshit


Don't do anything stupid :nono:

It can (and will) only get better. Hang on in there. We're all here if you want our support :hug:

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 19th February, 2012, 2:54 am 
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Well this week has been crap im depressed about this whole situation and am not out to anyone else yet. my car majorly leeking anti-freeze and ruining the engine to a state beyond affordable repair. It broke down in the school parking lot. My debate tournament was a complete flop. I don't trust most of my friends except a couple that I've told. The good news is that I may be starting a club/website of like minded individuals with one of my friends.

  
 
 Post subject: Re: help tips on this?
Unread postPosted: 19th February, 2012, 7:00 pm 
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It's tough now, but you just gotta get through it so you can see how much it was worth coming out. Its gonna get better :hug:

  
 
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