Straight friend led me on ADVICE

Discuss sexuality, whether your own or someone else's.

Should I tell him my feelings?

Poll ended at 23rd May, 2018, 9:55 pm

Yes
1
33%
No
2
67%
 
Total votes : 3

Straight friend led me on ADVICE

Unread postby blaktne » 13th May, 2018, 9:55 pm

Okay, so this is an obviously TOTALLY relatable topic for anybody in our community, but I'm going to do something that I really need ADVICE about. There is this guy at my school *cliche alert* he's super religious- he's okay with LGBT but his family isn't- and he DM'd me Instagram over the summer and asked to hang out. We hung out A TON and he was really touchy with me, for ex. we'd wrestle over things/he'd sometimes offer to give me a massage/ he didn't mind when I sat close to him. I would also tease him and flirt with him and he accepted it/reciprocated. OKAY NOW THAT YOU KNOW ALL OF THIS, THIS IS WHERE IT GETS WACK.
One day after we hung out (for the 3rd day in a row), he texted me asking if I was gay and was super awkward about it. He then claimed that he isn't and he was making sure that he wasn't sending the wrong message to me. This is weird that he doesn't know, since my Instagram profile explicitly states "yeah... I'm gay" in my bio... and that's how he first contacted me. After this, the school year started and he stopped talking to me... from what I heard through mutual friends was that his friend group called him out for hanging out with a gay person.
FAST-FORWARD TO PRESENT TIME. Last week we hung out again after about 7 months, and he apologized for not talking to me anymore and he said he stopped hanging out with that friend group. We're all good now, but the feelings I gained last summer came rushing back all of the sudden. I want to tell him so bad, but I'm so afraid of rejection. The thing is, he's had rumors that he was gay for a long time (it's known throughout all of the school), but I'm having my doubts because I'm afraid of getting rejected and he also DM'd a few other guys over summer, so it's not like I was the only one (but ironically those guys he messaged also have gay rumors).
ANYWAY. Should I go for it? I was planning on telling him in a private setting where it's only us. I'M JUST SO SCARED AND I NEED ADVICE ON WHETHER OR NOT I SHOULD FOLLOW THROUGH.
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Re: Straight friend led me on ADVICE

Unread postby Littlenorthernboy » 24th May, 2018, 5:09 am

If he ever again asks you whether you are gay, tell him to check your instagram ;)
If that is the way they first contacted you, it is likely that they are aware of it.
It sounds extremely suspicious that he has pm:ed ppl with gay rumours on + you when you are openly gay (at least on ig)
--> You should go for it.

Confront him: ask them why did they first contact you through ig and did they see your bio? If they did: what was their motives.
Did he want more than a friendship ;)
Tease him a bit (but not too much) there, maybe he will open up :)
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Re: Straight friend led me on ADVICE

Unread postby biebolover » 26th May, 2018, 9:57 am

You know, for my years, I realized one thing that I live, "Who doesn’t take risks, he doesn’t drink champagne/wine”.
Sooooo, that’s a reminder for you to do what you wanna do. Maybe it will sound rude for you, but you have nothing extraordinary to lose. If you’re afraid of the fact you both won’t hang out after coming your feelings out for/to (dunno) him, probably, It should’ve happened. It might be painful, but all the people change their surroundings. Hope you’ll have a happy end.
Also when you talk to others, It gets clear. What a sense to waste time on someone who isn’t interested in you, dreaming about him? It’s better to talk, than sit on the ass, thinking about what might not even be in the future.

I know it might look like porridge, so the whole text, I meant you must tell him
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Re: Straight friend led me on ADVICE

Unread postby Jasperzz » 9th June, 2018, 6:16 am

is he the type to experiment? If you two are in a pretty good friendship and you don't want to put it at risk, i would stay quiet or just make more subtle gesturews towards him... However, if you want to tell him then go for it!! He probably won't mind and even better, those feelings might be returned :awesome:
Love from the opposite of straightness Xx
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Re: Straight friend led me on ADVICE

Unread postby Deither » 10th June, 2018, 3:36 pm

Maybe you could hang out more with him? Maybe since he knows you're gay he will himself come out to you eventually?
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Re: Straight friend led me on ADVICE

Unread postby Wayde » 18th June, 2018, 1:39 pm

To be honest, he could just be closeted and scared. From everything you've said, he is basically me back when I was in high school. I was a mess and constantly longed for someone to understand what I was going through. I was scared that I was gay (because I didn't want to be), and I was scared that maybe I wasn't (because, then what would that make me?), I was constantly crushing on guys and desperate for love and someone to like me back, but then I was also super worried that everyone in my surroundings would find out (and they were all very homophobic). If you approach him as a friend (with potential for more), he might open up to you. Denial and fear can be bitter things. I wouldn't tell him that you like him though unless he tells you that he is gay, or you might scare him off. Just try and be there for him, what he needs most right now is for someone to just hold his hand through it.
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Re: Straight friend led me on ADVICE

Unread postby devedani » 18th June, 2018, 5:50 pm

Honestly this was a bit of an opener. Some straight guys really know the ins and outs of some gays, and know how to push their buttons. This kinda helped me get over a straight guy.
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