Hey guys

So as of late with all the different things going on in regards to gay rights, I've been reading and hearing a lot of a certain phrase that has really gotten me to thinking. I'm interested in your opinions on the subject.

On many websites I've been visiting and reading the comments on, I have seen this phrase A LOT. When someone who is not gay is talking about how they feel about homosexuality, they will say something like this: "I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but I don't agree with the gay lifestyle".

This makes me wonder: What, to them, constitutes the gay lifestyle? I don't think their idea of the "gay lifestyle" is two people of the same gender happily living together in the same manner as a traditional couple would. I think that when they think of the "gay lifestyle", they think of the parades, the drag shows, the stereotypes. There's nothing wrong with that necessarily, except for the fact that just because somebody is gay doesn't mean they are going to act a certain way. ALL it means is that they like people that are the same sex as them. Being gay does NOT make someone a drag queen or an angry protestor or a pervert, as some seem to believe. It just makes me sad to see that some people have this misinformed idea of what the "gay lifestyle" is. It would be like someone saying "I don't have a problem with Asians, but I don't think the Asian culture/lifestyle is right". If someone said that, it would be perceived as racist or taboo or intolerant. Why is it not the same in this situation?

Personally, I have never been a very "flamboyant" person. I am in the closet, and for the most part everyone seems to think I'm straight, since they're always talking to me about girls. When I actually do come out and find someone. I want to live a normal life with them. I have no interest in doing all these other things associated with being gay. I don't have a problem with them, but it's just not my personality.

So, I ask you all: What do you consider "the gay lifestyle"? Do you feel that you have to act a certain way, or hold a certain opinion? Do you have to have specific interests? If this post was in any way offensive to anyone, I apologize because I really didn't mean for it to come across as such. It just bothers me to see straight people stereotyping all gays in this way, implying that they think all of them have this predetermined set of interests to which every single gay person must adhere. I look forward to hearing what you think on this topic!

The gay lifestyle is being gay.
That's it.

Totally intend to go to bed, but this topic came at a lovely time. I almost literally just responded to this in chat. Too tired and lazy to state again, so I'll use my arguments from other places that I've been.

"Yes, because a gay man that shares the same super market, TV shows, roads, neighborhood, schools, and culture wants to destroy his counterpart. Because a gay man stands on his lawn adjacent to his neighbors, whose lawn and home strangely resemble his own, and vows to flip it upside down as revenge.

You're such a sensationalist. All that gay man wants is to share the ability to return to his family and know that they are protected by him through law and union. Heterosexuals and homosexuals share a similar culture within a society. The only difference is the attraction. I see no gay usurpers of this fact."

"Lifestyle, to me, implies a radical change in function. Replacing a mother/father with a companion of the same sex in a traditional family setting does not seem radical to me. Different, yes. But not radical that it deserves to be called a lifestyle.
The community is the same.
The grocery store is the same.
The culture is the same.
The TV channels are the same.
The education is the same.
Function is the same."

"Being gay is also not a lifestyle, and that's a very offensive thing to say, and shows bigotry from the get-go. I go to the same Publix, same High School, use the same roads, have the same culture, and enjoy the same TV shows as everyone in my community. If someone said I enjoyed a different lifestyle simply for having an attraction to males, I'd dismiss them as bigoted or ignorant for their dismissal of me."

I don't believe that there's a gay lifestyle at all. Anything gay people do is hardly original, radical, and exclusive to gays.

Thanks for your input. I tend to agree with you. It just makes me angry whenever I see someone talk about "the gay lifestyle".

There is no gay 'lifestyle'. Being gay makes you no different in your 'lifestyle' than anyone else.

Fixed it

Id just ask them what the straight lifestyle was, and ask if it was all church going and football

It implies that there is choice in the matter. By lifestyle, they mean choosing to have sex with someone of the same gender.
Because if there's one universal characteristic shared by all Christians, it's fucked up ideas about sex and relationships.

A lifestyle is kinda the way a person lives, it reflects a person's attitudes, values and view world and life. It also includes views on politics, religion, health and intimacy and more.

Your sexuality isn't necessary a lifestyle, however being gay does have a major influence on it. For example we have a certain political view, we aren't best friends with religion and being gay often makes us a more open person. Of course every individual is being influenced on a different way, but definitely has influenced a person's lifestyle.

However it's just ignorant when people talk about a "gay lifestyle", because we gay don't have all the same lifestyle and often our lifestyles aren't any different from straight people. And when people refer to a "gay lifestyle" they are probably not talking about a gay couple that is settling down and having a family with some kids, but they probably refer to the stereotypes.

Later when I settle down with a boyfriend and maybe adopt some kids. I don't want to be referred as the gay couple in the neighborhood, but just as neighbors, because we aren't that much different.

When and if I hear this quote, I go fucking crazy.



Pretty much; it's a contradiction. It's like saying "I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but I don't agree that they're acting on their sexual orientation or attraction."

Also, the "gay agenda":
1. equality
2. refer to #1

And some people think we don't deserve that equality. That's why the "gay agenda" is so feverishly demonized by many traditionalists. Feels bad, man.

As history has proven, equality is a bitch to get.

I think the gay life style is having butt sex with a man.

gay is the boy ! but he want to kiss the boys! only men can carry the happinest together

Whether you agree with his definition or not is completely fine, but realistically I have a hunch that most of you do know what he means by "gay lifestyle"

-Sex parties
-Promiscuity
-Gossip-prone
-Overly flamboyant
-atheistic and moral-less
-And last but not least, getting into the pants of straight men

Even though these qualities aren't widely true at all (As I too believe the "gay lifestyle" simply means nothing more than being attracted to the same sex), the sad reality is that this is how many people (especially homophobes) perceive our gays, which is why those aspects are what I think he was trying to refer to in him saying "gay lifestyle".

I think the gay lifestyle refers to the tongue in cheek image of homosexuals in general. Though not all exhibit these traits/characteristics,many lgbt members do. This includes being overtly flamboyant, strongly opinionated, shallow, overtly dramatic, and materialistic. I think it is sad that most of society only sees the image. Even on campus, that is most of what I see--only difference is I know better.


It's also worth nothing when there is strong dislike on a target(s) (person, place or thing)--people like to focus on the negative aspects of the target(s).

Pillow-talking with dicks.

I couldn't agree more. I am very much as masculine as any straight guy, actually much more on average. I enjoy fishing, shooting and kickboxing. Before I came out I was considered by everyone to be a real "Man's man", a teddy Roosevelt type. I enjoy fashion only in the sense of James Bond. Perhaps the only gay thing about me is that I like purple.