coming out to my parents

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coming out to my parents

Unread postby fir3star » 16th February, 2012, 12:38 pm

okay i know most of you know i've had my boyfriend for a few months and we are about to start having sex :D well, i thought of another thing....i still haven't formally told my parents i'm gay yet....i want to but i know it will just cause a disaster....my grandma is homophobic and she always talks crap about gay people in the house :wtc: it breaks my heart when i hear it and you know i am really sick of acting strait around family members it's not who i am....at all i'm the feminine kind of guy that likes to dress in drag sometimes ._. my mom couldn't stand to have her "baby" be gay .-. and my dad...... ever since i was a filly i have show....feminine traits and because of that he has been doing what he can to make sure i'm strait, like pointing girls out to me....and saying you were checking her out weren't you? when actually i was checking her boyfriend out .-. i'm not sure what to do i can;t keep hiding it from my family but....i can't imagine what would happen if i do talk about it :wtc: :wtc:
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Re: coming out to my parents

Unread postby ParaWhore » 16th February, 2012, 2:01 pm

As your parents, they will love you no matter what. Of course you can have some rough times.. but they will always love you for who you are. I would start it gradually slope into your feminine side before you reveal your sexual identity as they may be confused if you have been "acting straight". Just act calmly and don't make too much of a deal out of it. If they are upset by your sexuality deep inside you will know that what you have done is right as nobody can stay in the closet forever. Afterwards you will feel more confident with youself, knowing that you are honest to the world.
And I understand your anxiety with your grandma being homophobic, as my dad WAS homophobic. However, once I came out to him he treated me with more respect.
Good luck if you decide to come out, I wish the best for you. :gay:
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Re: coming out to my parents

Unread postby Thoughtless » 16th February, 2012, 2:10 pm

ParaWhore wrote:As your parents, they will love you no matter what. Of course you can have some rough times.. but they will always love you for who you are.

Presumptuous shit based on subjective experience. Not all families are unconditionally loving of their children. There wouldn't be a need for forums like these if the world was as it is through your rose-tinted glasses.

Your family is homophobic and clearly trying to enforce heterosexism onto you. Coming out would probably be a stupid idea in your situation, unless you have a plan b in-case the shit hits the fan. E.g., staying at a relative's house or being self-supportive.
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Re: coming out to my parents

Unread postby ParaWhore » 16th February, 2012, 2:13 pm

Thoughtless wrote:
ParaWhore wrote:As your parents, they will love you no matter what. Of course you can have some rough times.. but they will always love you for who you are.

Presumptuous shit based on subjective experience. Not all families are unconditionally loving of their children. There wouldn't be a need for forums like these if the world was as it is through your rose-tinted glasses.

Your family is homophobic and clearly trying to enforce heterosexism onto you. Coming out would probably be a stupid idea in your situation, unless you have a plan b in-case the shit hits the fan. E.g., staying at a relative's house or being self-supportive.

I suppose in some cases, but that's just my opinion. I enjoy wives tales :keke:
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Re: coming out to my parents

Unread postby Stormwatcher » 16th February, 2012, 3:00 pm

OK so it sounds like if you tell them they're likely to flip out. It seems like a good idea to wait until you have a backup plan or are self-dependent before you come out. Everybody's circumstances are different, and you shouldn't feel pressured to come out until you feel it's in your (and your boyfriend's) best interest. You could consider letting a bit of your feminine side out at home just to judge their reactions, then from there you can decide whether to tell them. Just don't walk in in drag and vomit rainbows everywhere.

It's unfortunate, but sometimes there won't be any way you'll be able to reach your family. Having a backup plan is very important though... If you feel like you could stay with your boyfriend or another relative for a while, that'll help things quite a bit.

If you've been hiding things with your BF for this long, it might not be a bad idea to continue waiting for a little longer. How old are you and your BF?
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Re: coming out to my parents

Unread postby fir3star » 16th February, 2012, 8:46 pm

Stormwatcher wrote: If you've been hiding things with your BF for this long, it might not be a bad idea to continue waiting for a little longer. How old are you and your BF?
im 16 and he is 15 (kinda young i guess but yah)
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Re: coming out to my parents

Unread postby Stormwatcher » 16th February, 2012, 8:54 pm

fir3star wrote:
Stormwatcher wrote: If you've been hiding things with your BF for this long, it might not be a bad idea to continue waiting for a little longer. How old are you and your BF?
im 16 and he is 15 (kinda young i guess but yah)

That's fantastic that you found someone already :3 Is he out of the closet with his family?

As unfortunate as it sounds, it's probably best just to remain under the radar for a little while longer. Dropping a hint here or there might be a good idea, but otherwise it's likely best to remain closeted for now... After all, you don't want to be kicked out of the house.

Hope things improve soon! :hug:
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Re: coming out to my parents

Unread postby fir3star » 17th February, 2012, 1:33 pm

Stormwatcher wrote:
fir3star wrote:
Stormwatcher wrote: If you've been hiding things with your BF for this long, it might not be a bad idea to continue waiting for a little longer. How old are you and your BF?
im 16 and he is 15 (kinda young i guess but yah)

That's fantastic that you found someone already :3 Is he out of the closet with his family?

As unfortunate as it sounds, it's probably best just to remain under the radar for a little while longer. Dropping a hint here or there might be a good idea, but otherwise it's likely best to remain closeted for now... After all, you don't want to be kicked out of the house.

Hope things improve soon! :hug:

thanks.....he is out to his parents, oh and by the way....my mother saw a picture of me and him......making out D: ya she said "take this shit off of facebook" i think she is in denial because she avoided me the rest of that day, and the next day (today) she was coming into my room alot like she wanted to talk about it but never did......i'll post and tell you what happens but other than that....i have no idea what is going to happen next
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Re: coming out to my parents

Unread postby Josh303 » 17th February, 2012, 3:07 pm

Thoughtless wrote:Presumptuous shit based on subjective experience. Not all families are unconditionally loving of their children. There wouldn't be a need for forums like these if the world was as it is through your rose-tinted glasses.

Your family is homophobic and clearly trying to enforce heterosexism onto you. Coming out would probably be a stupid idea in your situation, unless you have a plan b in-case the shit hits the fan. E.g., staying at a relative's house or being self-supportive.


As much as I'd hate to say it, hes right..
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Re: coming out to my parents

Unread postby 3j5yc » 20th February, 2012, 3:15 pm

Josh303 wrote:
Thoughtless wrote:Presumptuous shit based on subjective experience. Not all families are unconditionally loving of their children. There wouldn't be a need for forums like these if the world was as it is through your rose-tinted glasses.

Your family is homophobic and clearly trying to enforce heterosexism onto you. Coming out would probably be a stupid idea in your situation, unless you have a plan b in-case the shit hits the fan. E.g., staying at a relative's house or being self-supportive.


As much as I'd hate to say it, hes right..


I seconded that.
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Re: coming out to my parents

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 20th February, 2012, 3:43 pm

fir3star wrote:oh and by the way....my mother saw a picture of me and him......making out D:

LMAO! Serves that bitch right!
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