Australian Politics Thread

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Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby TheBrunswickian » 6th March, 2017, 7:16 am

Or maybe just Jesse making posts about current goings on in Australian politics. Here's a run down of what's happening.

Western Australian election
The only election in Australia this year (for now) is happening in 5 days. The Liberal-National government led by Colin Barnett is facing election for a third term, having now been in office for 9 years. The government is widely unpopular, and polls are showing a strong swing to Labor. However, for Mark McGown to form a Labor government, he needs to win 9 seats. To get this he needs a uniform swing of roughly 9% to pick up enough seats.

The election is being seen as a litmus test for One Nation, the far-right party led by Pauline Hanson. Polling at around 11%, One Nation could win several seats in WA's upper house. The party's chances of electoral victory is aided by a preference deal struck between the Liberals and One Nation. One Nation will preference the Liberals above any other major party in the lower house seats they're contesting in exchange for the Liberals preferencing One Nation above the Nationals in the upper house.

Centrelink scandal
The ongoing Centrelink scandal had embroiled the government since the end of last year. Centrelink is the organisation primarily responsible for the distribution of welfare and social security. It recently introduced a new debt recovery system, which sends automated notifications to welfare recipients that they owe Centrelink money. However, the system has been sending these notices to people who do not actually owe anything. The Department of Human Services has stood by the system despite the reports that some welfare recipients have been advised to seek counselling.

Last week, the government leaked the private information of a blogger who criticised the system to The Canberra Times. When The Guardian enquired with the DHS if the information had been leaked, they too were sent the information. The Minister for Human Services Alan Tudge defended the move, saying it is necessary to clarify the record. Labor's shadow minsiter, Linda Burney has referred Tudge to the Australian Federal Police, claiming the move may have been illegal.

Penalty rate cuts
The Fair Work Commission handed down a report recommending the cutting of Sunday penalty rates. This would mean that many people working in retail and hospitality would be worse off each week if their employers decided to hand down these cuts. Some local businesses have announced they will not support the cuts, and LUSH also announced they would protect their staff's wages. The government enthusiastically welcomed the decision, saying that more work would be available and more jobs created. Labor has criticised the cuts, saying that its delusional to believe business will take the opportunity to hire more people.

18C
A joint parliamentary committee on reform to the Racial Discrimination Act handed down a report which left the status of Section 18C of the Act still in question after many months of debate. Heralded by conservatives as a necessary reform, 18C makes it illegal to offend, insult, humiliate or intimidate another person on the basis of race.

George Brandis
The Attorney General is under fire for his role in the litigation proceedings in the liquidation of The Bell Group. The collapsed company has several creditors seeking to reclaim their debts, including the West Australian government and the Australian Tax Office. Brandis is accused of having told the Western Australian Treasurer that he would try and secure them as much compensation as he could during the High Court proceedings, reducing potential payments to the ATO. Then Solicitor-General Brendan Gleeson was told to run a particular argument to favoured the WA government. The chief of the ATO then sought legal advise from Gleeson about their options. Brandis then issued a Legal Services Directive, stating that any consultation by any member of government of head of department had to go through the AG's office for approval. This undermined the independence of the Office of the Solicitor General. Gleeson resigned following a spat in which Labor attacked the Attorney General for lying to the Senate about the LSD.

Brandis was also caught out last year after appointing a Liberal Party donor to a position with a six-figure. It also turned out that this appointee was also the criminal defence attorney for Brandis's son. The scandal-prone Attorney General is said to be in line to replace Alexander Downer as High Commissioner to the United Kingdom when Downer stands from the role some time this year.

Is It On?
The latest Galaxy Poll has Labor leading the Liberals in the two party preferred by 55-45, giving them a 10 point lead over the Libs. This is worse than when Tony Abbott was dumped as leader over 18 months ago. Abbott recently inflamed tensions after it was revealed he told then Liberal-turned-Independent Senator Cory Bernardi he still aspirations to return to the leadership. He also launched a stinging critique of the Turnbull government. His comments were rebuked by Finance Minister Mattis Cormann, once one of Abbott's primary supporters. However, the current rumour around Canberra is that Immigration Minister Peter Dutton is likely to become the next Liberal leader.
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby Togetik » 6th March, 2017, 8:12 am

Finally somewhere I can scream in a labor echo chamber about current events

Something fun that's not listed is Senator Abetz's bizzare tirade about how he doesn't want the lbgt flag flown in a government building, going on to bring up an obscure micro-nation populated entirely by lgbt activists who declared war on Australia for not recognising same sex marriages.

Abetz claimed that because they're technically at war with this micronation (Doesn't officially talking about them in that way validate their claim to the land?) that the LGBT flag is that of a "hostile nation" but also he wants anti-lgbt flags too "for equality" because I guess he realises how baffling his first argument was
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby Ebsy » 6th March, 2017, 7:07 pm

I can sense a spill motion on the horizon.
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby Unseasoned Chicken » 6th March, 2017, 7:08 pm

Another politics thread?
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But tbh this makes me really realise how lucky we are to be in Australia, most of our political issues are hardly even proper issues in the first place, they're normal things most countries have to deal with.
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby TheBrunswickian » 6th March, 2017, 7:54 pm

Ebsy wrote:I can sense a spill motion on the horizon.

Abbott won't challenge with Turnbull in government. The Libs know that they're going down at the next election. I think Abbott's strategy is to tank the Liberal Party in 2019, Turnbull resigns in disgrace and he steps back into the fray to fight another day. That would be the most logical strategy for anyone wanting to avoid, as he puts it, the revolving door of Prime Ministers
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby TheBrunswickian » 6th March, 2017, 7:56 pm

Leaked internal Liberal polling in WA predicts a 57-43 TPP vote on Saturday in Labor's favour. They are predicting they could lose up to 20 seats.
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby TheBrunswickian » 8th March, 2017, 12:44 am

How do you forget you own a house worth $1.4 million?
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby TheBrunswickian » 8th March, 2017, 9:13 pm

Labor frontbencher Kate Ellis has resigned and intends to retire at the next election. Ellis currently occupies the seat of Adelaide give South Australian Senator Penny Wong the chance to move into the House of Reps. Meaning everyone's favourite Asian lesbian politician could be a contender for party leadership
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby Ebsy » 11th March, 2017, 4:09 am

Awaiting news of the Libs getting a proper thrashing in WA.
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby TheBrunswickian » 11th March, 2017, 9:03 am

Ebsy wrote:Awaiting news of the Libs getting a proper thrashing in WA.

Thrashing is putting it mildly. It's been a fucking bloodbath. The ABC predicts the ALP will win 41 seats
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby Togetik » 18th March, 2017, 7:00 am

A beer company has pulled a kind of homophobic ad made by a bible society they're friends with using their products (And liberal party MPs, because of course). The backlash against them with both business boycotts of their products and individuals boycotting them was apparently enough to shift them so far in the opposite direction that they've joined up with a business based marriage equality coalition.

Conservative commentators/politicians/public figures are apparently absolutely infuriated by the idea that people have the ability to vote with their wallets when they disagree with the stances of a company, and have predictably started whining about it & how the big bad gay mafia was out breaking kneecaps.

Immigration minister and "That Guy Who Went On An Angry Rant About Killing Johnny Depp's Dogs" Peter Dutton took the opporunity to tell off all companies and CEOs that support marriage equality because it's... not something they should meddle with? Or something? It's coming from the party that takes significant amounts of money from mining companies and suspiciously refuses to put any environmental protections in place that might hinder mines so take that hypocrisy as you will.

We even had George Christensen, a guy who thinks this is a cool looking picture of himself, call the company "weak" for listening to it's consumers.
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby TheBrunswickian » 26th March, 2017, 6:17 am

Latest Fairfax-Ipsos poll has Labor leading the Coalition 55-45 in the TTP. If there were to be an election today, Labor would gain 24 seats on a uniform swing - including the seats of senior government ministers like Peter Dutton.
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby TheBrunswickian » 14th April, 2017, 12:57 am

Turnbull and Morrison are divided on allowing first home buyers to use their superannuation to pay for a deposit (which i might add is a fucking terrible idea because it doesnt address the bubble the market is in)
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby Dolly » 14th April, 2017, 1:10 am

Australia should have its own Donald Trump or Marine Le Pen.
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby TheBrunswickian » 14th April, 2017, 1:20 am

Pity wrote:Australia should have its own Donald Trump or Marine Le Pen.

Her name is Pauline Hanson. And that won't happen for many reasons.
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby Finch » 14th April, 2017, 3:38 am

TheBrunswickian wrote:
Pity wrote:Australia should have its own Donald Trump or Marine Le Pen.

Her name is Pauline Hanson. And that won't happen for many reasons.

We might as well have two, really.

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Uhnnnn deport me, daddy Dutton. :lol: :lol: :lol:
I finally found something to put here!

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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby TheBrunswickian » 14th April, 2017, 3:55 am

Finch wrote:
TheBrunswickian wrote:
Pity wrote:Australia should have its own Donald Trump or Marine Le Pen.

Her name is Pauline Hanson. And that won't happen for many reasons.

We might as well have two, really.

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Uhnnnn deport me, daddy Dutton. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Going from sewer water to dog shit
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby Togetik » 14th April, 2017, 10:03 am

Let's not pretend we have just two, instead of a pretty large chunk of the ruling government
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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby Finch » 23rd June, 2017, 4:20 am

Thought I'd update this thread because:
a) I want contribution points;
b) I have to step it up to get in the top 50 members before my time here ends, and;
c) Why not? It's a good laugh

So many of you have probably heard jokes about how Australia goes through prime ministers faster than Ginger Minj clears a plate of finger food.

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When we all saw the conservative, onion-eating, budgie smuggler wearing monster that is Tony Abbott being replaced by Turnbull, who is more of a centrist, naturally we collectively gave thanks to our ambiguous, politically correct deity of choice. In fact, many of us believed that this change would herald a more progressive and humanitarian era to come- we even saw Turnbull as a bit of a daddy.

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Of course, nothing good ever lasts where old white men are involved. That's probably what their wives say too. Who knows, maybe she's just getting the shorter end of the stick because he secretly has a gay affair that he's trying to hide, hence the old white men in parliament trying to make sure gay marriage never becomes a thing. Mmmm look at all that overcompensation.
There goes our chance to get married.
Thanks, Malcolm Turnbull.

Malcolm Turnbull once told us that he believed in innovation and an 'ideas boom' for Australia. Clearly, the best way to do this is to cut over 110 jobs from the Oceans and Atmosphere divisions at CSIRO. But our troubles don't end there. Recently, the Australian government proposed a number of changes to the Australian migration system, including the introduction of an English proficiency test to acquire citizenship and amendments to the existing citizenship test with a special *cough*ineffective *cough* focus on Australian values
Thanks, Malcolm Turnbull.

When something like this happens, you can't help but wonder what kind of conversations went on between our prime minister and our immigration minister, Peter Dutton, better known as Peter Potato Dutton.

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"G'day Turny, whatcha' up to?"
"Not much, mate. Just listening to the sound of waves crashing on our shores and the strangled cries of the middle class."
"Speaking of our shores, seen any boat people throwing their kids overboard lately?"
"Nah, nah, mate. I'm off for a bit, gonna head off to the servo for a pack a' durries."
"No worries, mate- I've got some here. Listen, Pauline's a real fine philly, in't she?"
"Damn right, Pete. But listen, women don't belong in parliament. The only cabinet they should get close to should be the ones in the kitchen. We should roll back human rights, cut funding where it's most needed, stop the bloody immigrants from taking our jobs and filter out all the Muslim wife beaters and rapists. That'd show her how real men get the job done."

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This is Malcolm Turnbull at uni, a facility he didn't have to pay for to go to. A facility that we have to pay astronomical sums to go to today.
Thanks, Malcolm Turnbull.

And by the way, this is Pauline Hanson.
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I think she's the one on the left, but don't hold me to that, photoshop can really do wonders for unfortunate people like Pauline. Pauline is best known for her appearances on Dancing with the Stars and Orange Is The New Black as an extra. She was really popular in her wing of the prison. Mostly because she was kept with all the other people were dumb, deaf and blind white trash after being inbred for a few generations.

Everyone's been saying that this move has been something of an elaborate dog whistle to Pauline's party, One Nation, and their supporters, which I can kind of understand. I mean, everyone wants conservative voters from Queensland to support them; they're easily the stupidest, most pliable group to manipulate.

I'm not entirely sure what's coming next, but I've already bought my halal snack packs to snack on while I watch the rest of the fireworks, because I'm a rotten sociopath.

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Thank you Malcolm Turnbull, thank you Peter Potato, thank you Pauline
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I finally found something to put here!

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Re: Australian Politics Thread

Unread postby Togetik » 25th June, 2017, 8:22 am

I'm surprised no one is talking about the bafflingly out of touch LNP "answer" to independent activist groups like GetUp! because I can't imagine anyone on earth being swayed by "The Fair Go"'s weird trust fund canned statements.

Dutton, the man who wanted to kill Johnny Depp's dogs because he was jealous of him, has defended the absurd examples used by the LNP to show off what they want to change about the citizenship test in order to require applicants to have """"australian values""". Such examples include questions about "clean coal", bee behavior and cinema history, the coal ones are pretty much just weird propaganda
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